Top 10 worst movies of 2014 (so far)

With the list of the year’s best movies behind us now, it’s time to look on the other side of the coin: the worst. For every good movie in a year, there seemingly are usually about two or three bad ones and, sadly, the bad movies typically stick out more than the good ones.

Image courtesy of ACE/INFphoto.com

So, instead of begrudgingly asking why we saw these movies in the first place, let’s just look back and try to make good use of whatever hours were wasted watching these movies on the silver screen.

Just like with the best list, however, I should also mentioned here that this is just simply a list of movies that I have seen thus far this year. So, of course, there are a few supposed stinkers that have been able to make it past my viewing experience so far, and will, because of that, not be on this list. Those movies include : Transcendence, Need for Speed, I, Frankenstein, The Other Woman, Winter’s Tale, Walk of Shame, A Haunted House 2, Legends of Oz: Dorothy’s Return, The Single Mom’s Club, Mom’s Night Out, Sabotage, Son of God, and Brick Mansions, just to name a few.

Additionally, here are some (dis)honorable mentions: Devil’s Due, The Legend of Hercules, 3 Days to Kill, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Stalingrad, A Million Ways to Die in the West, and Words and Pictures.

Now, without further ado, let’s look back on some of the year’s less-likeable films….

[ new page = Forget the night ]

10. About Last Night
It’s not surprising that a remake of an ‘80s romantic comedy would end up being generic. In fact, it’s almost expected at this point. But Steve Pink’s About Last Night goes beyond just being bland; it’s trite, constantly unfunny and, quite frankly, just boring.

I will save my comments on Kevin Hart for future movies on this list, and will just focus on the leads, who not only lack chemistry, but must slog through a script that not only does not give them anything funny to say, but also forgets to give them a story that hasn’t been done in a million movies already.

Based on the reviews that have been released for this movie, I appear to be in the minority here, and I don’t see why. There is nothing funny, original, or engaging about this movie whatsoever. It’s just, quite frankly, another bland romantic comedy and remake. When you should be fighting off breathes from laughing, you are fighting off falling asleep in the theater.

[ new page = Odd indeed ]

9. Odd Thomas
Having not read the Dean Koontz novel I can’t say for sure, but, having seen the movie, I can at least guess that this is a big disappointment for those looking forward to seeing the title character hit the big screen. While there are fleeting moments of inspiration from director Stephen Sommers, his script is borderline terrible, with awful punch lines, bad plotting, and questionable character decisions.

While lead actor Anton Yelchin brings charm to the main character, he can only do so much. And, with no chemistry with the lead actress and having to acting around some of the worst CG seen in a film in a long time, all that is left is the underlying feeling that, under a different filmmaker/writer, this may have been something pretty fun.

[ new page = Don't think like a man ]

8. Think Like a Man Too
The second Kevin Hart movie on this list (and not the last), this sequel to 2012’s Think Like a Man reunites the extended cast together, but gives them literally nothing to do other than hang out in Vegas. Which, I’m sure, was fun for them, but isn’t for us.

In addition to the fact that the Vegas backdrop has been used in comedies a bazillion times already, Think Like a Man Too suffers from the fact that a) it has to work in Sin City under a PG-13 rating and b) that it doesn’t have anything funny or original to do with its talented cast. The result, then, is boring, trite comedy that tries to skate by, once again, on its charming cast (and Hart) but fails completely.

[ new page = Mixed up ]

7. Blended
It should come to no surprise at this point and time that a new Adam Sandler has landed on a worst list. While this one is decidedly a little better than some of his efforts, like, say, Jack and Jill, That’s My Boy or Grown Ups 2, this tired, run-of-the-mill comedy suffers primarily because it fails to work magic with its two leads, Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

Who, in both The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates, proved before that they have great chemistry together, but you wouldn’t know it here. With a running time that’s just under two hours (and has no reason whatsoever to be), this film feels a little more tiresome than the previous Sandler stinkers—who, at least, seemed to have some idea when to get in and get out. It may not be worst than some of his films, but this additionally lazy effort from Sandler is perhaps his first disappointing one in some time.

[ new page = Don't take the ride ]

6. Ride Along
Now, finally, the last Hart movie on the list, Ride Along; the one that, expectedly, uses him the most—so, naturally, it’s the one with the least amount of laughs. By now, the buddy cop formula is dead. The only way for it to work is to be somewhat self-aware of how tired the genre is, like Hot Fuzzand 21 and 22 Jump Street were, and make your jokes on how silly and stupid they are.

Unfortunately, Ride Along is more Cop Out than Lethal Weapon. It relies on overused set pieces, underwritten comedic situations and an insulting generic storyline. But, through a complete lack of chemistry from Hart and Ice Cube (who looks particularly dead-eye in this flick, especially as he has to recycle lines like “today was a good day”), this movie is all the less fun to watch.

[ new page = A disaster indeed ]

5. Pompeii
The newest film from hack filmmaker Paul W.S. Anderson (not to be confused with the brilliant director Paul Thomas Anderson), this recreation of the famous historical demise of the city of Pompeii is about as silly and stupid as it could possibly be.

For a movie about the destruction of an entire city, there is never once a sense of urgency or threat provided by the filmmaker or the actors. Through an unbelievably bad script and lousy performances (especially from Kiefer Sutherland, who—as much as it pains me to say it—is completely chewing up the scenery here), this movie is probably one of the biggest waste of $100-something dollars in some time. It clearly wants to be Titanic, based on its tired, bland relationship, but it ends up being more Pearl Harbor.

[ new page = Nut very good ]

4. The Nut Job
This animated feature, featuring the voices of Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph, Liam Neeson, and Katherine Heigl, is probably one of the ugliest and laziest mainstream animated movies in some time. In addition to having a completely unlikable protagonist, this movie has the added disadvantage of having no joke that works whatsoever. Literally every joke in this movie is a dud, and, even for a kids movie, this movie sets its ambitions low.

With more than a fair share of lowbrow comedy, a plot that has been recycled so many times that there’s holes in it and uninspired and ugly character designs, this animated comedy sets its sights on being like Shrek or any other DreamWorks Animation comedy, but ends up being almost as bad as Doogal. It’s a good thing that Arnett got to play a voice in The Lego Movie one month later, for this leaves quiet a bad taste in the mouth when remembering anyones contribution to it.

[ new page = No going back]

3. Back in the Day
Smallville’s Michael Rosenbaum makes his directorial and screenwriting debut here with this movie that tries its hardest to be the next American Pie or whatever is the next gross-out R-rated favorite today, but fails completely. Based on its credits, it appears that this is a semi-autobiographical film, at least, for the star and filmmaker, but something gets lost in translation.

Perhaps it has something to do with his lack of experience behind the camera, or because we can’t know these people, but these character are never as funny or likable as the movie so desperately wants us to think they are. In the end, this painfully juenville and unfunny comedy comes across as basically a rip-off of American Reunion, which, itself, was just a rip-off of the first movie, which was a semi-rip-off of ‘80s high school raunchy comedies. You can see the pattern.

[ new page = Go back to school]

2. Vampire Academy
Just like with Back in the Day, there is nothing quite like the pain of watching a character that thinks they are funnier and smarter than they really are. While, on paper, this movie sounds like a slam dunk (it basically is a crossover of Harry Potter and Twilight) this failed attempt at being the next Y.A. book-to-film sensation primarily fails because, while it has a sense of humor about itself, nothing it produces is anywhere near as clever, funny, or intelligent as it thinks it is.

The characters all talk like they graduated from Diablo Cody High School, but never possess the occasional wit and charm that can be found in some of Cody’s written works. Adding on to its generic plot, which contains more than a few plot holes, mixed in with unremarkable love stories and boring characters, and all that is produced is a pretentious, whiny and desperate attempt for our attention. Much like the main character herself.

[ new page = Quite endless]

1. Endless Love
More like an Endless Bore. The second Valentine’s Day-release on this list, this remake of the ‘80s-something romantic melodrama with Brooke Shields is perhaps one of the most insultingly awful romantic movies in some time. With downright terrible acting and laughable writing, this dud gets pretty much nothing right.

The only thing that works in this movie is Bruce Greenwood, who, for all his best efforts, can’t help but end up becoming the mustache-twirling villain of this silly, pompous love affair. As if the first two acts weren’t insulting bland enough, this movie ends with what is perhaps one of the most unintentionally silly final acts seen on the big screen in some time. I would almost recommend it just for how bad it is, but that would mean you would have to suffer through the rest of this unimaginative, horrible garbage.

WordPress › Error

There has been a critical error on your website.

Learn more about debugging in WordPress.