‘Franklin & Bash’ recap: ‘Kershaw vs. Lincecum’

Peter and Jared wake up at their beach house with no memory of what they did the night before except that they find Skee-ball tickets in their pockets. Suddenly, opera music starts blasting and Infeld is doing yoga naked in their living room. Peter asks him what he’s doing there. He replies that he “slipped” in the night before when they were “out cold.” He questions why he can’t drop by the house since he owns it and rents it to them at a “very favorable rate.” He then asks the guys the latest on getting his law license reinstated. Jared replies that it can’t be done until he “admits the truth.”

Infeld replies, “that Karp helped Rachel embezzle millions of our clients’ money?” Peter replies, “Yes,” but Infeld refuses to do so. Yet, Jared argues that if Karp hadn’t gotten drunk and slept with Rachel, she couldn’t have gotten the codes to access the clients’ accounts. Infeld replies that he wants “to look forward not back” and tells the guys that until he gets his license back, he’ll be staying in the master bedroom. Once Infeld leaves to go exercise some more, the guys talk about speeding up getting his license back and out of the house.

At the courthouse, Anita praises the closing argument Peter just gave in court. She then asks the guys when it will be her turn to argue in court and goes on how she can’t wait. Jared then gets a message that they lost a client because he won’t trust his business to anyone but Infeld. Then, they see Karp, who introduces himself to Anita. He then says that he’s heard a lot about her. The guys and Karp then trade insults and they mention how Infeld saved Karp, though he contends that he “carried” Infeld for years. Jared fires back that Karp “isn’t worthy of being anywhere near Infeld.” Karp then gets a text that his firm just signed the client the guys just lost.

The guys and Anita go back to the firm and are told that there’s a woman who came in asking for a divorce attorney. Anita begs the guys to let her have the case. Peter then sees their co-tenant, Dr. Beckman (Sex and the City‘s Willie Garson) talking to their property manager, Nate. The guys, who are worried that Beckman will get them evicted, ask Anita to “babysit” the client for a minute and get some general info out of her. The guys get one of their assistants to tell Nate that “the valet damaged a client’s Lamborghini and they won’t leave until they talk to the property manager.”
image courtesy of Famous/ACE/INFphoto.com

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Meanwhile, the guys get Beckman into an office and Peter goes on about how the Nate doesn’t like them subleasing the space to him. Beckham replies that they were just talking about baseball. The guys move to leave, but stop when Beckman tells them that he’s going to become an “areola specialist.”

The guys and Anita meet with the woman, Chelsea, who says that she still loves her husband and doesn’t want a divorce, but “I have to. He’s created a situation where I can never measure up to his impossible standards.” Peter replies that they will help her, but can’t imagine “there is a standard you can’t measure up to or surpass.”

Chelsea goes on to say that her husband is very wealthy and that she signed a pre-nup with a fidelity clause and as far as she knows, he’s been faithful. She goes on to say that the pre-nup states that the parties leave the marriage with what they came in with, for her is student loan debt. Jared can’t believe she signed away her “community property rights.” Chelsea replies that she thought her husband loved her and would care for her. Jared tells her not to worry. As they all leave, Chelsea tells the guys that she has a degree in Marketing and she hopes to get some part-time work until she finds something more permanent. Jared tells her to call them anytime. She thanks them and starts to leave, when Beckman appears and calls Chelsea “Honey” and asks her to come and continue their talk. Chelsea shoots back that Beckman should talk to her lawyers, Jared and Peter. Then, she leaves. Peter and Jared are speechless. The guys and Beckman move to an office as Beckman yells at them for having to pay them rent and now they’re handling his divorce?

The guys tell Beckman that they didn’t know that Chelsea was his wife when she came in. The guys then tell Beckman that they will tell Chelsea that they can’t take her case. Beckman stops them saying that he’s going to have to pay for her lawyers anyway so it would be better if they were people he knew. He adds that he knows that they wouldn’t “screw me over.” Beckman then asks the guys to try to convince Chelsea to rethink the divorce. The guys say they can’t, but then Beckman talks about his “pirated sub-lease” that he could break at any time or rat them out to Nate. Then, Nate appears. He’s angry at the false alarm he just came back from. The guys tell him that they have the rent, but they “need to exercise our grace period.”

Nate replies that they already passed their grace period. Jared then asks if Nate wants something from them “in trade?” Nate mentions that the firm does have season tickets to Dodgers games and that he’s seen the guys on TV sitting right behind home plate. Nate says it’s his wife’s birthday and she’d “get a kick out of being on TV.” Peter starts to say no, but Jared agrees and asks when. Nate asks for tickets to Friday’s game, “Giants vs. Dodgers, Kershaw vs. Lincecum.” Jared then asks if they’ll then get a two-week extension on their rent. Nate agrees to one week. Jared yells, “Sold!” Once Nate leaves, Peter reminds Jared that they sold the tickets three months earlier for that month’s rent. Jared knows and says before they sold them the rest of the tickets were claimed by employees and clients. “Maybe we can get them back,” Jared says. But, Karp has the tickets!

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At the beach house, the guys ask Infeld to tell the State Bar that he’s a sex addict. Jared says that they can then say he was “reckless and showed impaired judgment when he slept with Rachel.” They go on to say that they will say he’s “perverted” but recognizes that he has a problem and wants treatment. Peter then says that after, they will ask for him to be reinstated and Karp’s name will be totally left out. Infeld is touched how the guys are working so hard to get him reinstated. The guys reply that they owe him.

At the firm, Anita is there with Chelsea and Beckman is there with his lawyer. Beckman asks where the guys are. Meanwhile, Chelsea goes on about how Beckman never valued her opinion. Beckman’s lawyer reiterates that she claims that Beckman had total control in their marriage, “when you were working him over, weren’t you?” He then says that she wanted three free surgeries and got them. Peter and Jared then arrive and object. Peter flirts with Chelsea and Anita suggests a break and that Beckman should consider a settlement since the “pre-nup is not valid and your client violated every medical-ethics law in the book. I’m sure the AMA would be interested in hearing about that.” Beckman then asks for a moment alone with the guys even though his lawyer advises against it.

Once they’re alone, Beckman asks the guys if they talked to Chelsea about rethinking the divorce. Jared says she hasn’t been “receptive.” Jared then asks Beckman for his rent check by Friday. The guys then praise Anita for her “good work” then ask her “to kick a** but still be nice about it.” Jared tries to explain the situation to Anita but then goes with Peter to try to convince Chelsea to rethink the divorce. They say that Beckman still loves her and she asks if they are trying to get them back together. The guys deny that but say they believe in “the institution of marriage.” Chelsea replies that she came to them because Beckman told her that they never lose and “I can’t afford to lose.” She then says that maybe she should hire counsel that’s looking out for her.

The guys track down Karp and start complimenting him. Karp says his client that left their firm for his is waiting. Karp knows what they want and won’t give them the tickets. Karp then says if the guys can get him into the Three Olives Grill at 8pm on Friday, he’ll consider giving them his tickets. The restaurant has a six-month waiting list. Jared says it will be no problem.
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In court, Peter questions Chelsea on the stand on how Beckman would criticize her appearance. Beckman’s lawyer objects when Peter seems to be flirting with Chelsea. Chelsea then contends that she never wanted to alter her appearance. Beckman’s lawyer objects again on the grounds of relevancy. Peter contends that while Beckman is a “great man, he overrode Chelsea’s feelings on many things” including the pre-nup. The judge overrules Beckman’s lawyer’s objection. Beckman’s lawyer then questions Chelsea on how she says she felt coerced into signing the pre-nup. Beckman’s lawyer then brings up that Chelsea sought legal advice about the pre-nup four years earlier. Beckman’s lawyer contends that Chelsea wasn’t “coerced” into signing the pre-nup. The judge rules that there was no duress and rules that the pre-nup stands. He adjourns and says he will give his ruling the next day.

The guys go looking for Chef Sebastian to try to get Karp into the restaurant. He isn’t there but a hostess is. They all get drunk and play “Truth or Dare.” She dares the guys to kiss each other, they reluctantly do, but the hostess says that she still can’t give them a table on Friday night. She would add a table but she can’t because it would exceed allowed occupancy. Peter then says he has a friend at the Fire Marshall’s office. The hostess then says she thinks Sebastian would sign off on it.

The guys go back to the firm and Anita gives them a reason to drop Chelsea as a client, their new investigator, Dan, found a picture of Chelsea and Beckman from 10 years ago. Chelsea looks exactly the same as she does now. Peter wonders why she would lie. Jared then says they now won’t have to worry about pissing off Beckman. They show Chelsea the picture and she claims that it isn’t her in the picture. They ask who it is. She doesn’t know then asks them to look where they are in the picture. Anita says that it looks like Paris. Jared questions Chelsea if she’s ever been to France. Chelsea says no, then shows them her Driver’s License from four years earlier. It’s drastically different. Chelsea then says that Beckman was trying to turn her into an old girlfriend of his. The guys say that proving infidelity is the only way she can win and what he’s done isn’t considered cheating. Peter then brings up the issue of role-playing and that the surgery was permanent. Jared then says, “He cheated on you…with you!”

At the beach house, the guys have a party as Infeld tries to get into his “sex addict” character. Peter introduces Jared to Mark, his friend at the fire department. They tell him they need a table at the Three Olives Grill for Friday night. He asks Mark if he can pull some strings so an extra table can be added. Mark agrees, if Peter gives him some legal advice. Mark ran some stop signs by a pond and received a summons from the Mountain Recreation and Conservation Authority. Jared says that if Mark rushes the inspection, they’ll get the ticket dismissed.

At the firm, Peter talks to Anita about going into court. He gives her Mark’s case with the ticket.

At the Mountain Recreation and Conservation Authority, the panel shows a video of Mark running the two stop signs. Anita cites park by-laws and says she will subpoena a bunch of people. She’s then asked what law firm she’s with. She shows the judge a card.

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Back at the firm, Anita won Mark’s case. Jared and Peter think it was the firm’s name that scared them, but Anita says she gave them her old business card with her old firm’s name on it. Then, Mark calls and Anita tells him that he doesn’t have to pay the fine and the charges were dropped. He thanks them and the guys ask about the Three Olives Grill situation. He says they can expand capacity by two people, but they found asbestos in their ceiling that needs to be removed. So, they had to shut them down and they will re-open in three weeks.

In court, the judge rules the picture inadmissible, but Peter and Jared manage to trick Beckman into proving that he turned Chelsea into his image of beauty with the surgeries so the cheating argument is now deemed valid. Beckman ends up leaving peacefully, giving Peter an areola painting from his office.

Jared and Peter exchange a weekend at the beach house in order to get Karp the table at the Three Olives Grill so they get the Dodgers tickets to give to Nate.

In order to get Infeld reinstated, Peter and Jared coral an astonishing 641 witnesses including an Intuit woman, who Infeld has sex with 14 times in an igloo. The judge then rules that as long as Infeld receives treatment for his “condition,” he can be reinstated to practice law.

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