'Empire' S3 Episode 4 'Cupid Kills'

This season, Empire appears to have learned the perfect way to combine drama, cringe-inducing moments and clowning and I'm enjoying every moment of it! Also, are Empire and Lucious Lyon channeling their inner Beyoncé?  Because this episode makes a strong case for it.

Lucious and Andre, apparently a dynamic duo once more, travel to Shyne's neck of the woods in New York City, thinking Nessa is going to sign with Empire.  However, they realize they are one of many record labels Shyne has embroiled in a bidding war for Nessa.

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You know how this goes...when you play Lucious Lyon, you're sometimes successful and leave Lucious standing there with egg on his face.

Lucious is furious with Becky (because apparently the theme at Empire this year is when in doubt blame Becky) for letting Nessa slip through her fingers. Although, Becky aptly points out that she doesn't have the authority to sign her.

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He also gets on Cookie to have Tiana record a response song to Graham and Hakeem's beef from last week.

But Cookie has bigger problems, namely that Angelo still hasn't called her after their date. Just as Cookie is about to give up on him, Angelo shows up with three children who serenade Cookie with--Frere Jacques? Yeah, I'm still trying to figure that one out. Anyway, Angelo asks Cookie to accompany him to hear one of his favorite singers perform. Cookie flashes back to her days in Philly when she was dating Barry.

We learn that her family had hopes for her to attend college and be a doctor but she wanted to pursue music. Cookie's father also wanted her to marry Barry over Lucious (who he brilliantly calls Lucifer). After the brief flashback, Lucifer  Lucious approaches Cookie to check on her and says he doesn't trust Angelo. Cookie blows off Lucious' concerns.  However, Lucious is wary of Angelo's political background and believes he won't take Cookie, a convicted felon, with him on his rise to the top.

Lucious and Andre are trying to come up with an offer to sign Nessa and Hakeem wants to help--because none of Hakeems business decisions have ever gone poorly. Lucious tentatively allows Hakeem to tag team the effort to get Nessa signed with his brother. Andre also tells Lucious that Jamal has been visiting Freda in prison.

Jamal goes to visit Freda again, this time with the leader of his PTSD support group. After almost chickening out Jamal sees Freda, badly beaten from a prison fight. Freda tells Jamal that the lawyer Lucious sent hasn't done anything for her and she feels she'll be safer in prison.

Hakeem arranges a livestreaming event on his Empire X stream channel  (which apparently broadcasts on every building in Times Square) to celebrate Nessa signing with Empire. Hakeem attempts to get Shyne to sign an unofficial, but still binding offer on a napkin. Shyne one ups Empire yet again and shows the $2.5 million offer to the rest of the world during the livestream. So we learn that Shyne has some brain in addition to his very obvious brawn, and Hakeem is still the least business savvy Lyon--go figure.

Thinking Angelo is taking her to a club, Cookie tries to get ready for her date but has trouble finding an outfit. After some style advice from Porsha and the new head of A & R Xavier Rosen (sorry Becky). She decides on a short red dress that says Cookie Lyon all day, but unfortunately is not the right thing to wear to a black-tie fundraiser with an opera singer.

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After an awkward encounter with some of Angelo's socialite friends and a cringe-inducing (see I told you) moment where Cookie yells, in the middle of the opera (it's okay Cookie, I've wanted to do it too), Cookie flees to the bathroom, embarrassed. Her embarrassment is only furthered when she hears Angelo's socialite friends calling her a hoodrat and further confirming Angelo's playboy status. Cookie tells them off and leaves.

The next day, now it is Cookie who isn't responding to Angelo's messages. Cookie also has to deal with Tiana who is upset at having been dragged into Hakeeem and Graham's flexing competition, which is still more interesting than when Ray J wrote "I Hit it First."  Tiana wants to be an artist rather than a reality show, which gives Cookie an idea inspired by the opera she just saw.

Angelo seeks Jamal's advice about what went wrong with his mother. Jamal tells Angelo he needs to show that he can fit into Cookie's world. Jamal also seeks Angelo's help in getting Freda released from prison. They decide to pursue a temporary insanity plea.

Andre tries to persuade Nessa to sign to Empire, saying that she's being exploited by Shyne. The two bond over being math whizzes and their West Philly backgrounds. Andre gets Nessa to sign the contract but Shyne is furious and attempts to beat up Andre. Lucious apparently has Hot Sauce in his office (except I'm pretty sure A-Rod's bat wouldn't be named Hot Sauce), and uses it on Shyne after he pulls a gun on Andre.

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The similarities are mounting...

Lucious pulls his own gun and finally gets Shyne to sign the record contract.

Jamal finally gets an emergency bail hearing for Freda. After a lawyer gives evidence that Freda had a history of mental problems coupled with a heartfelt testimony from Jamal, Freda is granted bail.  At Tiana's livestream event that night, Angelo shows up (not in a suit thank God). Inspired by the opera she saw with Angelo, about a woman caught between two lovers, Cookie combines the song from La Boheme with a hip hop track for Tiana's song "Nobody Loves Me Like Me."  This song is officially my new stomping out my frustrations on the way to work jam, I felt like a superhero the first time I listened to it.

The song makes record streaming numbers for Empire Xtream and we are also treated to the operatic stylings of Lucious Lyon. Lucious tells Angelo that he still loves Cookie. Lucious tells Angelo the story of how Cookie got the nickname Cookie from him just before he and his posse beat her boyfriend Barry up (some fedora wearing "Nice Guy" somewhere is having a field day with this storyline).  Lucious says that even though Cookie is with Angelo right now, somehow they always end up back together.

Lucious' next target is Jamal who it turns out did some dirty work to get Freda out of prison (falsifying documents, paying off doctors to commit fraud...wait, was I talking about Lucious or Jamal?). But the joke is on Jamal when he finds out that the whole thing was orchestrated by Lucious with Freda's cooperation to make sure that not only does Freda get out of prison, but nothing she says in court is credible due to her alleged mental state. Because when you try to hurt Lucious, sometimes, you hurt yourself and get your hands dirty in the process.

 

 

 

Jamal talks to his support group leader who tells him he still needs to work towards getting over his PTSD and agrees to work with him. Unfortunately, Jamal's pills and booze habit is still not under control.

Shyne has decided to declare war on Lucious and is assembling a gang and an arsenal of weaponry to take out Lucious and Andre. Meanwhile Nessa visits Andre. So remember all those things I said about sparks flying between Nessa and Hakeem a couple recaps ago? Well I clearly don't know what I'm talking about because Nessa and Andre start getting hot and heavy and continuing in the Lyon tradition of defiling perfectly good office desks. Andre stops, thinking of Rhonda, but just as they're about to call it a night Rhonda appears to Andre and tells him it's okay. Andre then proceeds to have a ghostly threesome with Nessa and Rhonda...yeah.

Next week...

Shyne is on a warpath

Tariq returns and all is not well with Angelo and Cookie

*Patiently waits out the World Series

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