'Empire' S3 episode 8: 'The Unkindest Cut'

This episode of Empire featured a little bit of backstabbing, sprinkled with a dash of diva fits, a touch of gangster and a generous helping of...

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Fashion Shows, Ruined Rags and a Tiana Tirade

Cookie has snagged Tiana the job of headlining designer Helene Von Wyatt's latest fashion show. Helene's show is bringing Empire a lot of mainstream credibility, but Helene's vision for the show rubs Cookie the wrong way. Helene demands that Cookie straighten Tiana's hair because her curls (which are ALWAYS poppin') don't match the aesthetic of the line and she also wants Tiana to wear a tight long, white gown which will require changes to her choreography. It's almost like she wants Tiana to be as white as possible ... oh wait.

Meanwhile, Andre begins prepping Nessa to take advantage of new funding Empire Xtream has received which Andre wants to use to further her career. Andre asks Cookie if Nessa can shadow Tiana as she prepares for her performance. Cookie agrees but it all goes to hell when Nessa "accidentally" ruins Tiana's white dress. Tiana's nerves and her now unwearable dress send her into a laughable diva fit where she calls Helene Von Wyatt a "skinny, racist bitch" and claims that the only reason Helene wanted her in the show was to run damage control on the HVW image after previously putting on a culturally insensitive fashion show. Tiana's rant is secretly recorded and goes viral in a matter of days leading to her being dropped from the show. Andre offers to help Empire keep the partnership with HVW in exchange for Cookie's forgiveness for missing her dinner. Andre goes to speak with Helene who apparently speaks only in "I'm not racist but..." platitudes. Unable to come to an agreement with her, Andre leaves but not before making a cryptic comment about how beautiful Helene's daughter's straight, blonde hair is.

I was DYING ???????????????????????????????????? Rhonda 2.0 #empirefox #empire #traibyers #andrelyon rp

A photo posted by Fanpage for Jussie Smollett???????? (@_.jussielover) on

Okay this isn't exactly what Andre said but it might as well have been because the next morning Helene's daughter wakes up to find her long hair hacked away and spread all over her bed. But it works out for Andre because Nessa ends up performing in Tiana's place at the fashion show in a colorful, short dress, with curly hair. Meanwhile, Hakeem and Tiana watch Creed alone in Tiana's apartment and Hakeem awkwardly attempts to braid Tiana's hair.

 

Run, Diane, Run and The Return of Jamal Lyon (?)

Cookie shows her work on the HVW fashion show to Angelo and his mother, who happens to know Helene. Diane gets the idea, after hearing Jamal's song for Cookie to have him write a song for Angelo's campaign. Cookie initially offers up other Empire artists, but Jamal decides it is time for him to return to the stage and agrees to do the fundraiser (more on that in a minute). After the fashion show, Helene urges Diane to stay as far away from the Lyons as possible because they are gangsters.

In an effort to overcome his PTSD and be able to perform at Angelo's campaign, Jamal enlists Phillip to help him by hooking him up to a virtual reality system that mimics all of the sights and sounds Jamal was exposed to the night he got shot. Jamal handles the images of cheering fans, flashing lights and even Freda pointing a gun at him like a champ. However, when Lucious enters and threatens to drop Jamal from Empire if his performance doesn't go well, Jamal's vitals skyrocket. Phillip realizes that Lucious is Jamal's PTSD trigger and the only way for Jamal to ever be able to perform again is to settle things with Lucious. Jamal pens another scathing song for Lucious and accuses him of being indirectly responsible for the death of Cookie's father. He also shares that he intends to title his new album When Cookie Met Lucious and air all of the family's secrets including Cookie spending 17 years in prison for Lucious. Angered by this, Lucious outs Cookie for calling the hit on Frank Gathers that ultimately led to Jamal getting shot. So many secrets and only one episode left in the season.

 

Finally ...

 

Lucious tries to help Anika and Leah get along but after Leah makes a scene during tea with Lucious, Tariq begins working to try to get Leah out of the house. He meets Leah at the doctor's office where Leah tells Tariq that Lucious and Anika hate each other but that they still have sex. Tariq feels that he may be onto something with Lucious but gets sidetracked reminiscing about his father Joe.

Meanwhile, Anika is angry after not getting the A & R job with Shyne and demands that Lucious fix it. After breaking almost all of Lucious' nice vases, Lucious finally agrees and we're treated to yet another confusing and uncomfortable Lucious love scene. Just as Anika and Lucious are about to get down and dirty, Leah walks in on them. Lucious takes her into the study where we learn that Lucious had known about her meetings with Tariq all along and was doing exactly what Lucious asked her to do to throw Tariq off his trail. Lucious praises mother by tying a purple necktie around her neck ... like you do.

 

Other things we learned this episode:

  • Empire must have some endorsement deal with Amazon because this is the second Firestick reference I've seen this season.
  • Lucious spends all of his money at auctions.
  • Unhinged, sinister Andre might actually be sexier than straight and narrow, God-fearing Andre ... wait maybe that's just me ????

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And ....

    • It's official, NONE of Lucious Lyon's furniture is safe to sit on, touch or eat off of

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But how does all of this back-biting, dirty laundry-airing, table defiling and show stealing end? Watch the mid-season finale on Wednesday at 9 p.m. EST to find out!

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