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No More Misbehavin'
by Michele Borba, Ed.D.
A how-to manual for kids from 3-12.
On the surface what parenting expert Michele Borba promises in her latest book seems like it's almost too good to be true, a way “not only to stop bad behavior on the spot but also completely eliminate it – and do so without reminders, pleading, coaxing, yelling, threatening, and bribing.” But her philosophies seem sound and she presents action plans for addressing 38 common difficulties parents face with children; plans you don't have to be a child psychologist to understand or a war commander to implement.
Once you start reading and see how sensible Borba's approach is, it's impossible to resist the urge to flip to the sections that deal with the problem behaviors your own children exhibit and this is perhaps one of the best uses of the book: as a how-to manual for kids to help you nip the behavior in the bud before it gets out of hand, or further out of hand.
She starts off with anger management for kids, among other things espousing helping children develop an emotional vocabulary so they can express their anger rather than acting it out, and including lists of warning signs to help you determine if your child has anger or other issues, some of which may surprise you. From there she moves on to other behaviors and the best part about the action plans is that they include backup plans and backup backup plans in case what you try first doesn't work with your child, and each section wraps up with a list of additional resources for further reading about each particular behavior.
What if your child is being bullied at school but is too embarrassed about it to tell you or the teacher? Borba includes a list of symptoms to look for and ways to help your child deal with the bullying; and also what to do if it is your child who is doing the bullying. Next, you can arm yourself with Borba's tips about how to get kids to help out around the house, or as she puts it, “Chore Wars,” and if you've been paying your kids to do chores and find the result is you now have a little teamster who goes on strike if there isn't money involved, she has a strategy for substituting a sense of accomplishment as their primary motivation instead of monetary reward.
The author also offers a number of good suggestions for dealing with the child who just doesn't listen, and then there's that other nemesis of parents: how to get kids to do their homework. She lists innovative strategies for motivating them, some of which just might work. There's also a detailed plan for helping your child make friends if a lack of friends is a problem; how to deal with peer pressure; some excellent ideas on how to make holidays – and children themselves – less materialistic; how to overcome shyness; thwarting sibling battles; silencing swearing; and dealing with other common problems.
When it comes to the nitty-gritty of disciplining, Borba reviews the correct way to use the time-out method and provides a list of possible consequences for problem behavior.
Tucked in the back of the book is a wonderful tool for nurturing your child's self-esteem, a comprehensive checklist of strengths and qualities to help you identify the positive attributes of your child so you can encourage these redeeming qualities rather than just focusing on what they're doing wrong.
No More Misbehavin' is a reference that should be on every parent's bookshelf and hopefully one day Borba will take it a step further by writing a book for kids that shows them how to deal with difficult behaviors in their friends and classmates.
Title: No More Misbehavin'
Author: Michele Borba, Ed.D.
Publisher: Josey-Bass
ISBN: 0787966177
Review written by: Marc Duane Anderson
Reviewer's Rating:8.5
Reader's Rating: 0
Reader's Votes: 0
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