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Home : CD reviews : Funk : Something About Vampires and Sluts


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Something About Vampires and Sluts - Pretend Endings
- An adumbral named band gives the music scene an obscure album as Something About Vampires and Sluts lets loose Pretend Endings. The album is an amalgamation of bizarre lyrics, yet skilled instrument play. If listeners can get past the somewhat freaky and often wacky lyrics, they might find a band that is adept at playing their instruments and utilizing them to the hilt.

The first track has heavy drum and cymbal work. The vocalist’s tone is sad and whiny at times, as he screams lines like, “Black and blue, and black and green and unfinished business and silent screams. Broken bones and rotted teeth.” The lyrics paint an unflattering picture for listeners who could envision something straight out of a horror flick. Yet the instrument play is quick witted, which might detract from the pathetic lyrics.

The second track has wicked fast drum play along with guitar work which includes deviant chords that stress the strange lyrics about a situation the vocalist must have experienced. The lyrics include lines like, “I heard laughing from the other room. I’m kinda happy we can make it to…sat back and watched the color.” The vocalist seems to be prophesizing about the future of his romantic relationship and where he sees it going. As to her perception, that is left up to the listener to decide.

The third track has more drumming, but this time it’s much more rhythmic in its beats. The vocalist gets even more forceful and the lyrics sound more like directives then verses in a song. He mandates an unknown female to obey his every instruction, with lines like, “Bring me some food, rub my neck, you don’t want me to hump your leg.” Such dictatorial lyrics and the tone behind them might quickly derail listeners from hearing any other track on the album, which would be a grave misjudgment. Granted, the message in this song is overtly tyrannical, but the abstract instrument work should still be given its due consideration.

The fourth track has an electric guitar riff in the intro that can be compared to any heavy metal rock deity. The drum work is ongoing, but not as much as in the previous songs. This track is about a void that is churning inside the vocalist and how he is trying to release his feelings, with lines like, “There’s a hole in my heart, there’s a hole in my head, there’s a whole other story we haven’t read.” The vocalist seems to be alluding to an anonymous domination he is yet to uncover, and because of that, he isn’t a complete person. It’s a song that will make listeners think, and apply it to their own lives.

Pretend Endings, by Something About Vampires and Sluts, has baffling lyrics and accomplished instrument play. It would be a shame if listeners were distracted by the odd name of the band and some of the more perverse lyrics and didn’t take full advantage of this interesting and unique album and band.


Reviewer: Sari N. Kent

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Reviewer's Rating: 9
Reader's Rating: 10.00
Reader's Votes: 4

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Added: 23-Feb-2007

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