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Hitting a milestone that few can claim, The Simpsons 500th episode did not disappoint.
During the opening credits, the show flips through more than one hundred opening scenes from past episodes. We join the Simpson family watching Kent Brockman giving the nightly news. He reports that China has declared war on America, and everyone should go to their basement or bunkers for three hours for a drill.
Homer then argues with Grandpa about dragons, while Lisa says that car insurance would be more beneficial than dragon insurance. "Dragon's do not attack cars, geez pick up a book," Home tells her. "I pick up books like you pick up beers!" Lisa replies. "Then you have a serious reading problem.
The Simpsons go into their bunker but don't last long into the apocalypse drill. Lisa thinks it would be fun to see Springfield while it's abandoned and the family goes for a bit of a joyride. Marge notices all the cars parked at City Hall, and Lisa thinks its a town meeting. "Honey why must you always assume that a giant picture of us at a secret meeting we weren't told about is a bad thing?" Homer asks.
Mayor Quimby announces that the town has voted unanimously to throw out the Simpsons. Marge pleads with the audience, telling Mo she's his friend. "The monster queen is coming onto me!" Mo yells to the assembly.
Quimby says the city is going broke cleaning up after Homer's 'drunken shenanigans,' Barts destructive pranks and Lisa's annoying initiatives. Flanders is the only one who fights for the Simpsons. He is then thrown out of the hall with a battering ram. Despite their efforts to fight for their home or to curse the town with rain or drought, the Simpsons are banned from Springfield.
Driving away from their hometown, the radio station says "If you see a Simpson, don't try to reason with it, Just kill it and turn in its pelt for a free soda!." The car then stops for Bart to pee, when a stranger pulls a shotgun on the family. "Jilted by society? Well why didn't you say so!" the stranger says. He invites them to the Outlands.
The Simpsons soon settle into their new life. "I'm sick of watching FOX," Homer says as the family stares at a fox sitting on a rock in place of their television. Homer and Bart drive ATVs, Lisa is thrilled with the clean air, and Marge is worried about Maggie falling into the wrong crowd fighting with other babies.
Lisa tries to pull Marge out of her despair. "It's not so bad!" she says. "WikiLeaks is right over there!" The family meets their new neighbor, WikiLeak's Julian Assange who invites them over for a movie night. "An Afghan wedding being bombed."
He then disappears into a bunker with the code '1234.'
"He's no Ned Flanders," Marge cries. Homer insists they can sneak back into Springfield. Disguised as Mr Burns and his assistant Smithers, Homer and Marge make it into the town. They climb the donut sign, go bowling, and even return to their old house for some "fugitive sex." They are caught by the entire town, who throw out ideas of what to do with them like getting them a subscription to the opera and shooting them.
"Don't bother shooting us," Marge says. "We've found a new home that we love."
"Yeah, filled with non-jerks!" Homer adds, drawing a gasp from the crowd on his lawn. They leave and return to the Outlands, where Homer attaches a jet engine to an ATV. Marge hears a noise in the garden, and Maggie drags Lenny out of the bushes.
"I want a fresh start!" Lenny says. Carl also shows up, and Homer shares his home-brew beer with the pair before Mo sets up a bar in a nearby cave. "I have a feeling our paradise is going to be ruined by unwanted guests," Carl predicts.
Meanwhile all of Springfield has moved into the Outlands. They install electricity and build homes, taking over the neighborhood. Only Principal Skinner is left in Springfield, waiting for someone to come back for him.
The final shot shows a banner that reads, "Thanks for 500 Shows. All we ask is that you go out and get some fresh air before logging on the internet and saying how much this sucked."