'The Daily Show' Recap for 7/24

Jon Stewart kicked off last night’s episode with a special announcement: after 18 months of darkness, The Daily Show is finally back on air in Britain. Perfect timing, too, because the country ‘s current struggles are excellent fodder for late-night comedians.

In the wake of the HSBC and Libor scandals, Britain’s had a rough couple of weeks. Good thing they’ll have the opportunity to redeem themselves with the Olympics.

But unfortunately, London’s encountered a laundry list of problems, including a shortage of security guards and a train driver strike threatening to bring transportation to a standstill.

“How did you run an empire for 300 years?” Stewart asked.

And to add to the complications, it sounds like the opening ceremony Britain’s got planned is . . . well, a tad lame. A model shown on the British news displayed a meadow filled with grazing sheep and a “mosh-pit” for onlookers.

“Your answer is to let a few dozen sheep loose on a Teletubbies set?!” Stewart exclaimed, outraged.

In the show’s next segment, Stewart turned the program over to Lewis Black, who chastised Obama and Romney of playing fast and loose with the facts in the name of smear campaigning.

Romney accused Obama of knocking self-made businessmen; Obama accused Romney of not wanting gay couples to adopt children. And according to Lewis, neither charge is based in fact.

“Is there anything we still hold to a standard of truth?” Black asked.

Apparently there is. Nutella recently shelled out a $3 million settlement in a false claims suit. Plaintiffs argued that spreading Nutella on toast is not, as the company claimed, a part of a healthy breakfast and sued the nut butter company.

“You need not be honest to be president, but if we’re gonna spread you on toast, you better damn well be telling the truth,” said Black. “That’s why I’m endorsing Nutella 2014.”

In the show’s final segment, Stewart sat down with Matthew McConaughey, who’s looking rather thin these days.

“Are you okay?” Stewart asked him. “Are you just wearing a bit suit?”
McConaughey chuckled, explaining that he’s slimmed down to play the role of an HIV positive man for an upcoming movie.

Stewart congratulated the actor on his recent box office successes, as well as the birth of his two children. “Are you feeling that this is the most fertile time of your career?” he asked.

“Fertile’s the word,” McConaughey responded. “Things are sticking everywhere.”