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Try to guess which celebrity is being described in the following phrases: “thunder thighs,” “a squishy brick,” and “well-marbled.” You guessed Miss Piggy? WRONG. It’s none other than Sports Illustrated covergirl Kate Upton.
The website Skinnygossip recently blasted Upton for her killer curves, which most men find more than appealing.
A recent post declared that Upton had “huge thighs, no waist, big fat floppy boobs [and] terrible body definition.”
Another poster commented on a picture of Upton modeling lingerie on the runway. The anonymous blogger wrote, “Guess who?! Yes, it’s the lovely Kate Upton, confidently lumbering up a runway like there’s a buffet at the end of it.”
The insults kept coming. Upton was described as “pornographic” and “thick.” One poster conceded that she is a “pretty girl” (how magnanimous) but isn’t suited to modeling. Another wrote, “There was actually potential for her before she fell in love with… stuffing her face!”
Others blasted her for a recent Carl’s Jr. commercial, which shows the sultry sex symbol devouring a burger.
“I thought cannibalism was illegal?!?” wrote one poster. “If that’s not a very different species of cow, Kate could be in legal trouble!”
But it doesn’t seem like Kate’s got too much to fear. According to The New York Daily News, Skinnygossip is a notoriously pro-anorexia blog with little clout in the real world.
Don’t despair Kate. We think it’ll take more than a burger or two to ruin that million-dollar body.