'The Colbert Report' Recap - 2/12/13

By Ricky Riley,

This episode of The Colbert Report focuses on the dysfunction of the Republican Party, an Arizona school safety policy that is comedic on its own, and features guest Roger Hodge of the Oxford American.

The show began with the daily news review. Apparently, the Republican Party is in shambles.

RNC Chairman, Rence Priebus - or penis rice-o-roni, as Colbert calls him - has a solution for Republicans: smile more. Even when discussing issues of rape or abortion; smiles solve everything.

The RNC wants to have an “Autopsy” of the election and the news media has gone nuts with Republican Civil War looming.

Karl Rove, the un-lanced boil, leads a Super PAC that intends to break away with Tea Party supporters and candidates.

As a conservative, Colbert has to pick a side but instead of going with his heart he goes with the organ that produces bile and sides with the Tea Party.

Colbert suggests that Republicans should require women to have trans-vaginal ultrasounds before attaining driver licenses. Another suggestion would be load the Latinos on a rocket and send them in to orbit or stack them high and build a border fence.

However the most stocking news story came from Arizona. An Arizona police department has instated a volunteer posse to help protect schools from “bad guys" - led by none one other than Steven Seagal.

Colbert jokes that if your house is on fire call an arsonist and a bad guy can only be stopped by a bad actor.

In a news reel, Seagal says that he spends millions of hours on his gun training. Colbert points out that would equate to a life time of 150 years.

The posse members are violent, sex offenders and some have been accused of drug possession. They would be protecting a school they can’t be within a 100 meters of, jokes Colbert.

In the final minutes of the episode, guest Roger Hodge editor of the Oxford American visits the show to discuss the latest edition of the magazine.

They discuss the south and the perceive notions northerners may have of southerners. The latest issue discusses the history of southern music.

Colbert and Hodge compete over who is the most southerner but Colbert says that Texas and people from there are not really southerner.

This episode drove home the constant sarcastic satire the viewers are accustomed to. This was a fantastic jumping on point for new viewers as well. The Colbert Report airs on Comedy Central.

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