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This episode focuses on the Oscars, gun control, the Pope, and features Simon Garfield author of the book On the Map: A Mind-Expanding Exploration of the Way the World Looks.
Colbert hates the Oscars primarily because he is not nominated. The thing that upsets him the most is that First Lady Michelle Obama presented the award for Best Picture with a wrinkle pile of laundry also known as Jack Nicholson. She also announced Argo over Zero Dark Thirty, a movie about killing Bin Laden. Oh yeah, President Obama must have all the credit on that issue.
Acknowledging a film like that takes away some of the mystery. Next year’s Oscars will feature a hand rail for Jennifer Lawrence, food regulation on Joaquin Phoenix and the Best Picture Oscar will go to Harry Reid for his rendition of Fast and Furious: Slow and Measured.
Then Colbert moves on to the topic of gun control in The Word. Every time a person takes a bullet to the chest, the media blames guns. The CDC is studying gun control. It isn't a disease states Colbert. He never got a shot gun from sitting on the toilet.
The NRA stopped the government from studying guns. Guns are like gum, you have to bring enough for everyone. If only someone threaten Hurricane Sandy with a shot gun, the Northeast would be safer.
In the B block of the show, Colbert talks about the Pope. Until a new Pope is chosen, Colbert will be there to monitor for all the world’s Catholics. However the Pope is in the midst of a sex scandal. There is video of gay priests and supposedly having sex.
Money was molested. Children were laundered. Colbert strongly believes that the days of catholic sex scandals are over.
In the final minutes of the show, Simon Garfield discusses his new book On the Map: A Mind-Expanding Exploration of the Way the World Looks. The book focuses the creation of maps and their uses throughout the years. Maps help us dream says Garfield. They help us discover things we have never intended on founding.
This was a good episode to start the week. The Colbert Report airs on Comedy Central.