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10 ways 'Girls' gives us unrealistic life expectations

By Adeline Waugh,
Lena Dunham's misguided life lessons in no particular order

On the heels of the conclusion to the second season of HBO’s wildly successful Girls, I found myself reflecting on the past two seasons of this show, or rather as I have come to think of it, the vehicle for the distribution of my generation’s voice to the masses.

Do not get me wrong - the degree to which I love this show is verging on psychotic, but I found some of the ‘life lessons’ we as viewers may subconsciously take away from this show a little bit humorous. As someone in their early 20s who shares the same awkward and uncertain stage of life with the protagonists of the show, I would be in for a rude awakening if I thought the circumstances in this show would play out similarly in my own life. Here are ten humorous, albeit misguided lessons Hannah and co have taught us this season, in no particular order:

10. If you wear any variety of ill-fitting romper you can effortlessly hook up with a gorgeous middle-aged doctor simply by showing up unannounced at his doorstep to apologize for using his trashcan.

9. If you stalk someone for a long time period, in which they appear to have zero affection towards you, they will eventually date you, then stalk you, and finally this fairy tale romance will reach its peak of perfection when this person carries you into the sunset (or off of your bed after an OCD-induced mental breakdown and planet of the apes haircut attempt).

8. If your long-time boyfriend who you dumped after taking him on an emotional rollercoaster finally loses interest in you and far surpasses you in success by developing an app, embarrass yourself to an extreme degree in front of him and a large room of his co-workers by singing a mediocre version of ‘Stronger’ by Kanye West, and he will surely fall in love with you again.

7. If you have entered your early 20s as a virgin, and become disinterested in the 30 something boyfriend with a ‘black soul’ whom you finally lost said virginity to, you will most likely cheat on him with a door man.

6. If you try cocaine for the first time, you will quickly develop a newfound interest in the raising of show dogs, you will end up in a see through yellow mesh tank top with a guy named Laird following you around and you will lose two of your best friends all in one night.

5. If you find out that your 33-year-old aimless boyfriend has been inadvertently living with you rent-free instead of in his car, his only other viable option, this will provoke you to profess your love for him.

4. If you marry a random man nearly twice your age after knowing him for one weekend, you will have a horrible fight and get a divorce in little to no time (okay, this is realistic).

3. If you get into a bath with your friend and blow your snot into said shared bath, you and your friend will share a good laugh about it. (No, just no.)

2. If you are brunching with an ex-boyfriend who you have very recently begun hooking up with again, if you bring up growing old together, demand to know your “status," storm out with you arms crossed like a 5-year-old throwing a temper tantrum and then profess that you want to have his “brown babies,” his response will be very positive.

1. If you sustain a q-tip related injury resulting in a ruptured ear drum, and therefore an off-kilter sense of balance due to a recent bout of OCD, it is absolutely normal and socially acceptable to go to the hospital and then walk the streets of Brooklyn in a raggedy T-shirt and no pants (bonus points if you run into your ex boyfriend while doing so).

image: Facebook

 

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