'The Colbert Report' recap - 3/25/2013

By Ricky Riley,

This episode focuses on the new pope, The History Channel miniseries The Bible, and Stephen welcomes guest Junot Diaz to discuss Freedom University, a school for undocumented students.

The new Pope wants to ground the papacy. Pope Francis wants the church to be poor. The days of extravagance are over. This rubs Colbert the wrong way. That is not the church Colbert has sign up for. There will be no red shoes.

The Pope plans to go to prisons to wash the feet of inmates. As disgusting as that sounds, Colbert is a little jealous. So he gives the Pope some advice. Walk up to biggest guy in the yard and bless him in the face.

Then Colbert talks a little about the History Channel’s new show. The Bible joins other popular History Channel shows like Big Shrimpin’. Colbert does not understand how The Bible does not have the legs to maintain a long running series. Mark Burnett and his wife Roma Downey are producers of the show. Colbert asks who she had to sleep with to be the Virgin Mary. According to Burnett, a billion people will open or reopen the bible when they see this show. He thinks that is a low number. The real problem with his show is that their Jesus is just way too hot. You can’t look at him without saying goddamn. We need a broken down Jesus that has a receding hairline and a gut.

Then Colbert addresses Ham Rove and Karl Rove. Karl Rove is asked how he felt about Stephen Colbert’s ham rove. He said he is an entertainer that may have a mental issue. Colbert gives Rove some advice. Don’t put pineapples on your face. Don’t bring anything to a potluck dinner because you are dinner. If the Easter dinner ham starts talking; you start walking.

In the final moments of the show, Pulitzer Prize winning author and MIT professor Junot Diaz joins Colbert to about the Freedom University. He believes that all immigrants are future Americans. Therefore they should have the right to a college degree. The program meets in the University of Georgia. He aims to get undocumented immigrants a chance to go to college.

This was a decent episode. However, the news is old and the commentary is just okay. The guest was one of the better ones of late. The Colbert Report airs on Comedy Central.

 
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