'The Colbert Report' recap - Boston Bombings and Caroline Kennedy

By Ricky Riley,

This episode focuses on the Boston Marathon Bombings and features Caroline Kennedy. She stops by to talk about her new book Poems to Learn by Heart.

Before the show starts, Colbert talks about the bombings in Boston. The terrorists don’t realize how tough Bostonians are.

Boston was founded by the pilgrims; those people were so tough they had to buckle down their hats. This event happened during the marathon where people ran for 26 miles on an off day until their nipples are raw. Then some people run two more miles to donate blood for the victims. Justice will be delivered to those who committed this crime.

The show starts with the segment a Tip of the Hat and a Wag of the Finger. Colbert focuses on bugs. The cicadas are invading the northern part of the U.S. This event reminds Colbert of 1996 because the last time this happened was 17 years ago. Back then Seinfeld was on and Colbert was young and pretty. Now billions of these insects will swarm the east coast.

Then Colbert talks about sex cereal. This cereal will never let us forget breakfast. The product is made in Canada and soon no one in the U.S will buy it. It aims to improve a couple’s sex life and breakfast needs. Landfill smelling breath turns everyone on to a little sex in the AM.

The Republican Party is attempting to reach young people again by trying to update their website. They are using BuzzFeed as inspiration to do this. So they plan to combine adorable animals and political ideology to reach young people? This should work.

In the last segment, Colbert loves cooking but he hate cooking eggs. He talks about the Rolli Egg Master. It is simple to use. Just pour the yolk inside and wait for it to cook. It is powered by vertical cooking technology. So you don’t need to clean anything. It is perfect for work or a quick snack. The Egg Master creates an egg on a stick made for your eating pleasure at home or on the go. If you want fresh eggs just get a hen. Just plug it in and get the eggs fresh out of the egg hole.

In the final minutes of the show, Colbert talks to Caroline Kennedy. She talks about poetry being the language of the heart. Poetry intensifies everything, everything. They recite some poetry together.

This episode was okay. The beginning had a touching note to the victims of Boston. The Colbert Report airs on Comedy Central.

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