Top 15 Funniest 'Arrested Development' Tobias Fünke Quotes

By Allison Cordaro,

As the first licensed analyst and therapist (“analrapist”), Tobias Fünke easily occupies the role of the most ridiculous character on Arrested Development. Despite his quirks like being a never-nude, we can’t help but find him endearing.

Constantly struggling to find work as an actor (his stint as Inmate #2 and portraying George Sr. in the poorly produced series Scandalmakers being his only claims to fame), Tobias frequently finds himself with too much free time on his hands. Between attempting to join the Blue Man Group as an understudy to dressing up as a British housekeeper, Mrs. Featherbottom, to spend more time with Maeby, Tobias’s escapades are usually the funniest moments in the show. Also, he can’t quite understand why everyone thinks he’s gay, despite his somewhat dubious choice of words and his questionable sexuality.

In anticipation for the release of the fourth season on Netflix on May 26, we’ve compiled a list of Tobias Fünke’s funniest moments.

15. "...for there’s a man inside me, and only when he’s finally out, can I walk free of pain."

14. "As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch. Michael: Really? When did that start? Tobias: Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help."

13. "I just blue myself."

12. "Oh come on, don't leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging."

11. "I'll be your wingman. Even if it means I have to take a chubby. I will suck it up."

10. "Oh, my God, we’re having a fire!!! Sale. Oh, the burning! It burns me! Evacuate all the schoolchildren! This isn’t a fever! Can’t even see where the knob is! And… scene."

9. "If I may, let me take off my assistant's skirt and put on my Barbra Streisand in 'The Prince of Tides' ass-masking therapist pantsuit."

8. "I can already taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth."

7. Store Clerk: "Are you looking to buy, or are you just curious?"
Tobias: "Well I guess you could say i am buy-curious."

6. "I see you wasted no time filling my seat hole."

5. "Well, yes, but I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands."

4. "Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?"

3. "Ah yes, the Bob Loblaw Law Blog. You, sir, are a mouthful."

2. (as Mrs. Featherbottom): "Ok, who'd like a banger in the mouth? Right, I forgot, here in the States, you call it a sausage in the mouth."

1. Tobias: [on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias: Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias [on tape]: Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias: It's out of context.
Tobias: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Tobias: Tobias, you blowhard!

If you can't get enough of everyone's favorite analrapist, check out this YouTube video featuring the top Tobias Fünke moments.



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