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In case you haven’t heard, Ben Affleck is the new Batman, and #Batfleck is trending on Twitter. Tweets about "batfleck"
If you hadn’t heard, it’s okay—I hadn’t either, and I was totally perplexed that a new Batman movie was coming out after the end of The Dark Knight Rises. Then I found out that D.C. Comics really just needed a Batman for the next Superman movie. I had no idea they were part of the same alternate universe, and I’m not going to pretend I understand why two superheroes are necessary…unless D.C. Comics is planning an Avengers-esque Marvel ripoff movie. Bonus if it includes Aquaman! But hey, maybe you’re a comic geek who saw this coming years ago and you can enlighten the rest of us in the comments below.
In all seriousness, this one was so easy it was hard. Within 42 seconds of searching “Batfleck” on Twitter, I had 20 new results waiting to be displayed. Never mind the 3,486,000 results I hadn’t read yet. But with a lot of work and some completely arbitrary decisions involving closing my eyes and pointing at the screen, here are the Top Ten Tweets for Ben Affleck as the new Batman.
10. From Richard Dreyfuss, Jaws star and Academy Award winner:
You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck.
— Richard Dreyfuss (@RichardDreyfuss) August 23, 2013
Don’t worry, Dreyfuss. I would have picked you, white hair and all.
9. From Richard Rushfield, ex-BuzzFeed writer:
Val Kilmer and I are going to make our own Batman and the hell with you all.
— Richard Rushfield (@richardrushfield) August 23, 2013
I mean, he’s done it once. I’m sure he can pull it off again, even if he is...older. A lot older.
8. Anthony Bialy is more knowledgeable about comics than I am, but considering I’ve never heard about or seen any pictures of Aquaman, and his name is, well, Aquaman, this makes perfect sense.
Ben Affleck as Batman is the Aquaman of casting.
— Anthony Bialy (@AnthonyBialy) August 23, 2013
If you’re still wondering, just use Google images to search “Aquaman.”
7. From the real Batman:
Ben Affleck officially cast as Batman in the Man of Steel sequel. For the first time in history, I kind of want Superman to win.
— The Batman (@TheBatman) August 23, 2013
Me too, Batman. Me too. Wait, are Batman and Superman enemies?
6. Okay, this might be just a joke for Potterheads. But seriously, who hasn’t read the Harry Potter books by now? And seriously, what were they thinking? Even the Dark Lord, He Who Must Not Be Named himself, disapproves!
Ben Affleck as Batman? Were the people casting this movie confunded?
— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) August 23, 2013
I feel like Ben Affleck as Batman is bring us closer together. Now it's time to grab our torches and pitchforks.
— Pointless Levi (@IAmPointlessMan) August 23, 2013
(Anybody else reminded of the beginning of Shrek ?)
4. Crazed Star Wars fans, don’t read this one. Everyone else: as we all know, the first three Star Wars movies were awful. Embarrassing, even, thanks to Jar Jar Binks. And if you haven’t heard of John Wayne Gacy’s Genghis Khan in Conqueror, that’s a good thing, because it’s one of the worst movies of all time. And so…
Ben Affleck as #Batman?! That's as bad as casting John Wayne to play Genghis Khan or Jar Jar Binks to play himself.
— John Coon (@johncoonsports) August 23, 2013
3. Affleck and Matt Damon met when they were 8 and 10 respectively, living on the same street, and they will be linked forever to the media for that friendship. They’ve even worked together as actors (Good Will Hunting, anyone?) and made similar movies. But I don’t think anyone would have put Damon as Affleck’s sidekick, until…
— Not Bill Walton (@NotBillWalton) August 23, 2013
Pity Matt Damon for how much of Affleck’s Batman is going to be linked to him.
2. For all those of you who thought (or wanted to think, or hoped/prayed/wished/begged) that this was a joke:
ATTENTION: The "Ben Affleck As Batman" story was just a test of your emergency Twitter system. You all passed.
— Tim Long (@mrtimlong) August 23, 2013
Nope. But finally, my personal favorite…
— BuckeyeEmpire (@BuckeyeEmpire) August 23, 2013
Affleck. Er, Aflac. There’s definitely a difference.
Bonus: For those of you who are die-hard Affleck fans (because there are some of those out there…right?) the Batfleck Tumblr, which immediately popped up, has wonderful comebacks for all of the Twitter hating. There is also a Affleck the Batman Twitter account, but it’s less awesome and more a way to show your support in the face of ridicule. Good luck with that?