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This week on Web Therapy, Fiona’s got some new clients, and gets the edge on some old colleagues. Fiona’s first call is with Richard - and he’s thanking Fiona profusely for helping him with the Russian mob. Richard and Robin are going into witness protection because of everything that occurred. Robin walks in on Richard skyping with Fiona and she’s pissed. Robin knows Fiona called the FBI on Richard’s workplace with the Russians to protect herself; meanwhile, both she and Richard have lost their careers. Obviously, Fiona is doing this to help herself in some way, but Richard can’t help but interpret it as if Fiona still has feelings for him. Before leaving Skype, he tells her where they’re being taken for witness protection and no doubt Fiona will hear from him again.
Fiona’s next call is from a girl named Blair Yellin and Augie Sayles. They’ve been in a long distance relationship for two years - and they’re interested in meeting for the first time. Fiona doesn’t understand why they’re contacting her - but apparently they found a deal on Groupon to get a handful of sessions for only $10 per session. Before going anywhere else, Fiona takes a moment to curse Jerome for putting anything up on Groupon’s website. The couple continues to discuss as Fiona attempts to identify all of their shortcomings as long distance lovers, even calling them “fake relationships,” including the fact that they’ve never really had sex, but they both insist they’re very safe about it. Augie puts plastic wrap on his keyboard and Blair finds encrypted websites for them to use safely together. Fiona agrees to help the couple, who met on a blog network, where Blair blogs about her graphic novels, and Augie draws anime on a chalkboard. They’ve started a blog together about long distance lovers and Fiona agrees to help them and tells them to post the sessions on their blog to help other couples who have similar issues. Obviously, Augie is very nervous about meeting for the first time, and the couple are planning to meet next week. Fiona discourages it entirely - tells them that next week is too soon and that they should hold off until they get more counseling.
Kip’s next - he’s telling Fiona that his boyfriend Ben’s diary that was kept during the campaign is being used as evidence against him in embezzling campaign money. Ben and Kip are taking a “voluntary trip” to prisons to find one for Ben. Kip is excited to get over this - and he’s excited to get back to campaigning, which was a huge surprise to Fiona.
Augie calls Fiona again - he’s excited because of all the positive feedback the're getting from followers from posting their sessions online. Blair calls next and she does not seem pleased in the least. Augie hasn’t been available for Blair as much - he’s even gone so far as to stop following her on Instagram. They’re obviously having a lot of trouble lately and Fiona does everything she can to exacerbate that. She says that Augie might be jealous of Blair’s blog’s success, which he denies. Blair attempted to have some Thai food sent to Augie’s house, but he wasn’t home. He claimed he was at the coffee shop down the street because of his “shitty wifi,” but Blair used the “Find My iPhone App” to find out exactly where he was. Augie admits he’s a little jealous of all the male followers Blair has, and how many want her to break up with Augie. Unfortunately, Augie is worried that their followers will drop off if they meet. Blair wants to meet him still - she can’t see how they’ll work out if they don’t meet. Fiona pushes the idea that Augie is threatened by Blair’s success, and they decide to restart their relationship entirely, refocus on each other and not let their blogging careers get in the way. Fiona was only just able to close the conversation before they started covering their keyboards in saran wrap.
New episodes of Web Therapy air Tuesdays at 11 p.m./10c on Showtime.