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On Wednesday’s episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen covered Syria, talked to a journalist, explored a new piece of technology and interviewed Gary England.
Stephen began the broadcast covering the Syrian crisis. He said that that he has called President Obama a weak leader from the beginning and he had proven yet again how he was a weak leader. Stephen said that President Obama was weak on leading The United States into a war.
After playing the clip of President Obama stating his military plan, Stephen translated it sarcastically. He said, “we don’t know what we wanna do, we won’t do much and it doesn’t matter when we do it.”
The title sequence for the event was ‘Cris-ish in Syri-eh.” Not quite as catchy as ‘Showdown in the Gulf.’ He then told President Obama to “grow a pair” and be tough on Syria. He even said that he missed President Bush.
He said that President Bush knew how to sell a war. He said that President Obama couldn’t get England with hard evidence and President Bush got the world with “Colin Powell’s reputation and a test tube of crystal light.”
Stephen then took the opportunity to sell the war on Syria by using outlandish lies. He said that the Syrian leader was caught on camera punching “your mother” and “bought mustard gas from Hitler’s ghost.” Stephen also declared that English muffins would now be known as Liberty Toast.
To comment on the matter, Stephen brought out guest Steve Coll. Steve Coll is a journalist for The New Yorker. They discussed whether or not it would be a good idea to go to war with Syria. Coll said that President Obama was being careful because he knew that America was still hurting from the two previous wars in the Middle East.
Coll also said that The White House was sending a message to Assad. Coll speculated that the president was not trying to win the Syrian civil war, simply send the message that it is not acceptable to use chemical weapons. Coll said that, while this wouldn’t be legally a “war,” it would still be known as a “limited military action.”
The next topic Stephen discussed was a piece of technology that he discovered on the “most informative segment of Fox News; the commercials.” He talked about the talking bird “Perfect Polly.” The bird is plastic and “comes to life when you walk into the room.”
He mocked the product by putting “Perfect Polly” next to a real parakeet (named Imperfect Polly). He was going to let Imperfect Polly fly away but he “couldn’t tell which was the real bird.” When he pretended like “Perfect Polly” was the real bird, he figured that he had killed it and called himself a monster.
Stephen interviewed Gary England, a meteorologist from Oklahoma. The two discussed how ‘tornado alley’ isn’t a stationary area, rather it moves around across the country. He even discussed specific Oklahoma tornadoes and what to do if there is a tornado-hitting town.