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**May contain spoilers**
The much anticipated premiere of American Horror Story: Coven set us up for one wicked season yet to come. From a twisted socialite who mutilates slaves in her attic, to the alluring "Supreme" who sucks the life out of men in exchange for youth, to a bunch of rowdy frat boys and angsty teenage girls who happen to be witches, the premiere of AHS: Coven set us up for yet another promising season.
The episode started out in 1834 New Orleans, as Madame LaLaurie (Kathy Bates) rubs human blood on her face in order to prevent aging. In classic American Horror Story fashion, we are taken into her slave torture chamber where we find out just how twisted this woman is. In a series of shots of mutilated slaves, we see the creation of The Minotaur, half bull half man.
We then flash forward to present day and meet Zoe Benson (Taissa Farmiga) who, when having sex with her boyfriend, sends him into a hysterical fit and for lack of better words, a bloody mess - killing him. When Zoe's mom finds out she is less than sympathetic and instead has her shipped off to Miss Robichaud's Academy For Exceptional Young Ladies (and no, it's nothing like Hogwarts).
The academy is grand, with a staircase reflecting angelic wings. Zoe meets the other girls, or rather, witches, who play a cruel trick on her, pretending to stab her with a knife. There's the movie star telekinetic Madison Montgomery (Emma Roberts), human voodoo doll Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe), and clairvoyant Nan (Jamie Brewer). After the girls reveal the prank, they are greeted by headmistress Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson), who appears to be a serious, no-nonsense witch who doesn't reveal her powers or what she's capable of. We're banking on her being the most powerful of all.
We then head over to LA where Fiona Goode (Jessica Lange) aka "The Supreme," are talking with a biochemist about getting a vaccine to become youthful. She doesn't take no for an answer. When the young man shows up at her house and offers to help her, Fiona angrily forces herself on him, kisses him, and literally sucks the life out of him, aging him quickly until soon he is nothing. She fabulously walks over to look at her reflection in the mirror, lights a cigarette, and not liking that she appears the same, breaks the mirror. Only Jessica Lange could ever pull off a scene with so much anger, sexiness, and power. Seems as though she'll be our big bad for this season.
Madison convinces Zoe to go to a frat party with her, and we're introduced to the lovely Kyle (Evan Peters), who has his eyes set on Zoe. (Too bad Zoe can't ever have sex with him!) Even though Zoe appears to be having a good time Madison is having quite the opposite experience as she is being gang-raped after one of the boys whom she called her "slave" roofied her drink. Zoe becomes worried, and Kyle walks in on the action and stops it immediately, resulting in a fist fight. The boys escape to the bus, where the fight continues and Zoe chases after it wanting revenge. Madison suddenly becomes okay and she is able to use her telekinesis to flip the bus over and kill 7 of the 9 boys. And yes, tear tear, sniffle sniffle, Kyle was one of them (though we can guarantee that will not be the last of Evan Peters and his surfer boy hair).
Back at the Academy, Cordelia is brewing up some potions, when Fiona walks in, and surprise! -- they're mother and daughter!-- though there seems to be some underlying tension in that relationship, or rather hostility and disappointment. In the morning, the girls are confused by Fiona's presence, not knowing who she is, but soon learn of her power when she flings Madison against a wall after calling she calls Fiona an old hag. Lesson learned: don't ever talk about age with Fiona or suggest she's old! It will only end bad.
We next go backwards in time once more and are introduced to Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett), who feeds Madame LaLaurie a potion supposedly to stop her from aging -- but it instead "kills" her. It's revealed that Marie is the lover of the Minotaur and obviously plotted her revenge. But did it really do it's justice?
Guess not! When Fiona takes the witches on a field trip to her house, Nan can hear the Madame buried underneath the stones in the backyard. Fiona of course digs her up and takes her on an adventure. We can't to see what's in store for these two!
The last scene was much well deserved. Zoe goes to the hospital and has sex with the guy who raped Madison. Yep, his heart rate went flat. And frankly, we're glad.
Conclusion: this looks like one bitchin' season. We've got compelling characters and a lot of mystery to uncover. And if we can use our clairvoyant powers ourselves, we can tell you that something big, bad, and evil is about to strike.
Check out next week's promo and tell us what you thought of "Bitchcraft" down below. Did it meet your expectations?