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On this episode of The Colbert Report, Stephen discussed government being shut down, Obamacare and Mexican heritage and interviewed Daniel Radcliffe.
Stephen began the show talking about the government shutdown. He said that America finally had the chance to use its famous nation-building skills at home. He reviewed what was being closed in the shutdown. The landmarks would be closed. No tax refunds would be given. No loans would be processed. NASA would furlough a large percentage of their workers. The EPA would furlough as well.
Because the EPA was furloughed, Stephen said that he could now dump his old house paint down the drain. He apologized to the dolphins and said that they had a good run.
Even though the government was shut down, Stephen pointed out that Colbert nation is alive and well. Because of that, he appointed himself the leader. He said for the citizens to bring him sheep and their daughters and that he also accepts Visa. He said that he could cover all of the functions of the government.
He tested birth control pills and said that he would let his stage director Brenda know if he begins ovulating in two weeks. He also said that, since the panda cam was shut down, Jay the intern would dress up as a panda and stay on camera. Thanks Stephen!
In a transition, Stephen said that he had worse news that the entire government shutting down. He said that it was bad because Obamacare was here. When it started, it began with error messages and glitches on the website. The websites couldn’t handle the volume of people looking into it.
Stephen showed clips of FOX News personalities saying that these glitches meant that Obamacare was a failure and that it was terrible. Stephen sarcastically noted that “too many signing up is a sign that no one wants it.”
On FOX, another problem was that there were people who didn’t have computers, so they couldn’t get Obamacare. A guest on the FOX show said that the people could call a hotline or meet with someone in person. Then the FOX host asked how a person would know if they didn’t have a computer.
Stephen noted that for Obamacare you have to buy two computers and use Mr. Bell’s Demon Box (telephone). The bit was a sarcastic way to say that it was easy to get Obamacare. It was long but pretty funny.
In staying on the topic of healthcare, Stephen showed clips that for Obamacare to work, it needs the support of young people. The pro-Obamacare side released a new “Adorable Healthcare Act” that put cute animals next to facts about the healthcare plan. The plan is used to get young people to support it.
To fight that, Stephen created the Abominable Care Act campaign, in which he puts ugly animals next to healthcare facts. (Though, the ugly dog he chose was pretty darn cute.)
A real campaign, created by the Koch Brothers was created. It is called Generation Opportunity. The campaign tells young people to opt out of the healthcare plan. They said, even if you have to pay a fine, opt out of it. Stephen pointed out that they would be paying to NOT have healthcare. He said it was like renting instead of buying and not getting a house to live in.
To promote the campaign, Generation Opportunity was going to host tailgates and has cozies that read, "opt-out." Stephen said ironically, “why would a drunk college student ever need health insurance” and showed clips of drunken mistakes by college students.
The final bit on the show was Stephen “celebrating” Mexican heritage. He wore the official hat (sombrero), traditional area rug and ate a microwavable burrito from 7-11 while dancing over to his desk. He pointed out that Hispanic Heritage Month ran from September 15-October 15. He said that even the month jumps a board.
Stephen stated that FOX News has been celebrating it but showed clips of FOX news hosts talking about illegal citizens and talking about crime. However, Stephen said that was all the way back in “that/this September.”
He showed another clip of a woman talking about traditional Hispanic foods. Stephen joked that she was reporting from the international food aisle.
The real joke in the segment was when he showed Chris Wallace discussing children born from illegal citizens. The headline for the story was “Children of the Corn.” Children of the Corn is actually a movie about children murdering everyone in town. Stephen was sarcastically pointing out how offensive they were.
Stephen interviewed Daniel Radcliffe. Unfortunately, there weren’t many Harry Potter questions, but Radcliffe did admit that he was a Colbert fan. Radcliffe did say that he could take Lord of the Rings star Elijah Wood in a fight.