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The latest episode of Trophy Wife had Kate balancing a bit of her old party life with her new wife/stepmom responsibilities.
Pete and Kate are ready to sit down and watch Magic Mike. They haven’t had alone movie time in quite awhile. Their night is interrupted before it actually starts as Hillary walks in and calls them “gross perverts” for wanting to watch Magic Mike. Next, Diane is at the door with PPSAT practice books for Warren. Warren doesn’t exactly see the point in studying for a practice practice test, but feigns interest for his mother, who is worried that if he doesn’t do well he could end up being a CPA or a dermatologist. Warren admits that he doesn’t know what he wants to do for a career. Kate assures him that she didn’t know either when she was his age. Diane tells Warren he needs to study so he doesn’t end up like Kate. After Diane leaves, Meg stops by after a breakup with her current boyfriend of two weeks. Realizing they’re not going to have their movie night, Pete exits the living room to give Meg and Kate some space.
Meg and Kate are making Meg’s signature breakup drink, “megnog,” which is mostly just vodka. Hillary asks them to be quiet while she’s working on her planet project, which is made out of foam and food. She tells them if she doesn’t get a good grade it will adversely affect her GPA and she’ll end up going to a state school. Meg asks, “Do you get beat up a lot?” Hillary replies, “Do you get dumped a lot?” Meg and Kate continue making “megnog.” The blender is noisy so Pete suggests, “Maybe you guys should go out so we don’t disturb your drinking with our studying.” Meg tells him it’s a good idea and calls him “threepeat.” Warren excitedly explains it’s because Pete has been married three times.
Meanwhile, Jackie enters Bert’s room with a present from Bert’s grandfather. Bert is surprised that he’s getting another present. Jackie tries explaining that his grandfather has a memory problem, but Bert is too excited to pay attention because his grandfather bought him the Millennium Falcon LEGO toy. Jackie says she’ll help, but is panicked when she realizes it’s 1,254 pieces.
The morning after a night full of “megnog” has Kate and Meg dealing with a massive hangover. Pete opens the curtains to wake them up before the kids come out. Hillary comes out to find her planet project ruined. She accuses Meg of eating it as Meg pulls a gummy bear out of her hair and eats it. Warren comes out to inform the family that someone puked in his slippers. Hillary, completely annoyed and disgusted, says Meg even ate the foam.
Warren asks Kate and Meg why they look so bad. Pete tells him that they are sick. When Warren asks if it's diarrhea, Kate informs him it’s a hangover. Although Meg isn’t sorry, Kate apologizes to Pete. He tells her he isn’t mad at her and then turns the blender on to further annoy Meg. He’s clearly enjoying Kate’s “first mom hangover.” After the kids and Pete leave, Meg suggests they take naps in each of the beds, but Kate tells her she actually has things to do for the day.
Jackie is trying to help Bert put the Millennium Falcon together, but it isn’t going well. Bert starts to lose hope that they can put it together. Jackie and Bert recite her advice: “You can do anything you put your mind to. Even fly.” As Bert walks away to get food, Jackie calls Warren for help. Warren is supposed to be studying, but is making a house out of his flashcards instead. He tells her he’s studying for the PPSATs and she says that’s not necessary. She didn’t go to college and she’s doing just fine.
When Pete arrives home, Kate shows him that she bought Warren new slippers. She asks him if he knew Warren has been wearing women’s slippers. He tells her he knew. Apparently, Warren says they’re soft on his feet. Kate replies, “That kid is really comfortable in his own skin.” Their neighbor comes over to inform Pete that her children saw a woman swimming topless in their pool. As he and Kate go to find Meg, Pete reminisces of the times it was just him, her, his three kids, and his two ex-wives. “Simpler times.” A topless Meg comes walking in. This is the final straw. She needs to go. Kate lies and says Hillary has her UN team coming over and Meg won’t want to be there for it. Meg agrees to leave.
Back at Jackie’s, it has taken Warren an hour to separate all of the LEGO pieces. Bert calls him a genius. Warren replies, “I should be. I did the second grade two times.” Diane calls Warren and he assures her he is studying. When she asks to talk to Pete, Warren does his best impersonation. Diane calls him out on it and informs him she’s in his room. Warren, panicked, continues his impression and hangs up on Diane.
Meg and Kate go to Meg’s house. Her ex-boyfriend is there and is still upset. Apparently, their big fight was over whether or not Meg threw away a jar of mustard. Unable to believe that’s why they’re fighting, a frustrated Kate tells them they are both ridiculous and walks out. Kate tells Meg she has actual important things to do. Meg sarcastically mentions the UN meeting. Kate admits to lying about it to get Meg out of the house because she was ruining everything. Meg basically tells Kate that she and her responsibilities are boring. As Kate drives away, Meg’s ex walks out to tell her he found the mustard.
Kate arrives home and tells Pete that she and Meg are fighting. Meg told her she wasn’t fun anymore. Kate unsuccessfully tries to prove she is still fun by dancing around with a pool noodle. Pete tells her sometimes people grow apart, but Kate doesn’t want to lose her best friend. Pete then suggests she apologize even if she doesn’t think she should. She questions whether or not he has done that in the past with her. Annoyed, she walks away.
Jackie asks Warren what Diane is like when she’s mad as the two wait for Diane to arrive. Warren says his mother loves being mad, which makes Jackie even more nervous. When Diane arrives, she begins to yell at Warren for neglecting his studies and playing with toys. Jackie pulls Diane aside, which annoys Diane because nobody pulls Diane aside. Jackie tries to tell her that Warren is having a hard time living up to Diane’s expectations. Diane assures Jackie that he would tell her if he was. Jackie tells Diane he wouldn’t because Diane is terrifying. As Warren gets ready to leave, Bert begs him not to go because he can’t do it without him. Warren kneels down and kindly tells Bert that he believes in him and that he’s smart enough to do it on his own.
Pete goes to talk to Meg for Kate. Meg doesn’t want to hear it. She never sees Kate. She mentions that she basically vanished for a week after they got married. Pete replies, “You mean, our honeymoon?” Pete basically lies to Meg and tells her that she grounds Kate and that Kate always talks about her. As he’s fixing the situation, Meg’s ex, Kevin with a “T,” comes walking out. He’s packed all of his things, except for the free weights because they’re too heavy.
On their way home, Diane, realizing that Jackie may have been right, tries to reassure Warren that it’s okay that he doesn’t know what he wants to do for a career. He’s worried that he won’t be good at anything. She tells him that his LEGO building skills could lead to a career in engineering or architecture and being able to talk to Jackie could lead to being an animal trainer.
Meg, with her apparently no longer ex ex-boyfriend, arrives at Kate and Pete’s with an apology and surprise for Hillary. Before seeing the surprise, Hillary comments, “Thanks, but I’m already high on life.” Meg apologizes and unveils a solar system she made to make up for the one she ate. It’s basically a hot mess and doesn’t make any sense, but Kate is impressed that Meg spent a whole hour on it. Hillary points out that it’s missing some planets. Pete assures her, “Don’t worry, honey. I’ll help you make a new one that has an Earth.” Kate and Meg reconcile. Kevin (with a T), tries to hug Pete, who says, “No.” Kevin explains it felt like the right moment. Pete responds, “Not yet. Maybe never.”
Later, Pete and Kate finally get to sit down to watch Magic Mike. Pete comments that Channing Tatum isn’t only baring his body, but also “baring his soul.” As they are watching it, Bert comes out. He asks where that guy’s pants have gone as Pete frantically searches for the remote to turn it off. Kate tells Bert that guy is a liar so his pants are on fire. To which Bert asks, “Is that why the fireman is there?” Standing in front of the TV dancing, Bert shouts, “Kate, look. I’m shaking my butt like that cowboy!”