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'The Colbert Report' recap for 2/2/12

By John-Paul Helk,
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Steven Colbert began Thursday night's episode with a spiel on Groundhog Day, reporting that the groundhog did in fact see his shadow, meaning six more weeks of 55 degree weather. He stated his displeasure that we have forgotten its roots in “Candlemas”, when villagers would observe various mammals to predict the weather. What happened to harvesting beeswax? Or singing the traditional Candlemas song about refraining from molesting serpents?

He then moved on to talking about Super Pacs, calling them a “give a penny, take an election tray.” He revealed that 22 individuals donated 67 million dollars, which is half of the Super Pac money raised this year. He said that this is what the Supreme Court intended – for 22 billionaires to determine who becomes our next president. He ended it with “Gosh...I hope they pick someone I like!”

He then talked about his own Super Pac, which has raised a million dollars. This money was raised in a span of only 11 months. Colbert Super Pac is now the second and third result on Google when searching “Super Pac”. He gave credit where credit was due – to Ham Rove. He also thanked all who donated, including the biggest donator, Alex Rigopulos, who donated 9600 dollars. Colbert will send him a tote bag on which he crossed out NPR and wrote Colbert Super Pac. But where does all that money go? Colbert reported he would invest it in “cat-breading”, a new trend where people upload photos of their cats with their faces pushed through a slice of bread.

Colbert next covered the legal trouble Newt Gingrich. He is being sued for using the song “Eye of the Tiger” at his rallies without permission. The song, which is famous for being in the movie Rocky, is perfect, says Colbert, since Gingrich, like Rocky, is preparing himself to”be smacked around by a black guy.” Colbert is a lover of copyright law, so in an attempt to even the score, he had Dave Mickler, the original singer of the song, sing Gingrich's latest book, “A Nation Like No Other”. He did so to the tune of “Eye of the Tiger”.

His guest was Christiane Amanpour, who has a show coming up on CNN International. They discussed Iran, and how close versus far Israel is from war with Iran. They also discussed the threat of nuclear weapons in Iran, and how soon they thought Iran would have these capabilities. They also discussed the possibility of an Iranian alliance with the mole men.

 

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