Dealing with Cancer

It is very hard for a person to reach out when they are dealing with cancer. At first they want to keep everything to themselves so others won't know they have cancer. Then they find they cannot continue on with their work and it is harder and harder to hide it. Then they still try to shut themselves in to escape people seeing them. But that is not always the best answer.

From the experience of those I have sat with who had cancer, they have welcomed visits from others but don't want to discuss cancer. They want to talk about other things - kids, school, whatever.Family members fall apart too when a member is dealing with cancer.

Not only is there the fear of losing the family member, but they are feeling left out or avoided due to the changes. Everyone has to have outsiders encouraging and lifting them up emotionally.

I remember when my father-in-law asked me if it was all right to question God and ask why he had to battle cancer. I told him sure. After all God already understands he has it. So he might as well discuss his feelings. This helped my father-in-law immensely.

I sat with a 90-year-old woman once and I never forgot the joy she brought me during those visits twice a week. Also I sat with another lady way later in life. Her family wasn't doing so well dealing with it.

A lady in our church went through breast cancer and she would laugh and joke when the Pastor was there to visit. I told him this was her way to avoid discussing the issue. However, I would call her on the phone and as I was a woman, it helped her to be able to tell me exactly how she was feeling and know I would not put her down. She went through highs and lows. I am happy to say she is a survivor.

Attitude has a lot to do with dealing with cancer.

So if you know someone with cancer, don't pull away, but be ready when the family is ready to welcome others to be there for them.