Death Row Records Dead in the Water

Street poet and violent agitator Marion "Suge" Knight admitted to those present at a federal bankruptcy hearing in Los Angeles that his once peerless rap record-label, Death Row, had hit some hard times as of late. According to Knight, who had helmed the record-label throughout its climb to stardom, thanks largely to such maverick superstars as Snoop Dogg and Tupac Shakur, this was primarily due to the loss of a recent lawsuit that awarded approximately $107 million to a former couple, claiming they helped found the label. According to ABC News, Knight claimed at the proceedings that he had settled with Lydia Harris, whose soon-to-be ex-husband Michael has claimed half of the settlement as community property, while he resides behind bars on drug charges, to the tune of about $1 million. Lydia Harris (AKA Suge Knight enemy #8 of 1257) has denied reaching any formal settlement.

Knight also admitted that his frequent run-ins with the PO-lice had caused major complications, allowing the Death Row's finances to come undone while he sat in uncomfortable proximity to death row. According to the records made available at the hearing, Knight had no personal income this year, has barely enough for two Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwiches (or 11 burgers from McDonald's Dollar Menu) in his bank account, and unfortunately, doesn't have any secret foreign bank accounts or African front companies. Times are tough, but Suge isn't about to give it all up yet.

After all, by declaring bankruptcy Knight was able to keep control of the record label and the remaining assets that have not been grabbed by Whitey or at the IRS. This may give him the time to revive the record company (perhaps by selling some of those $1,000 suits that the press maintains he still owns). If you would like to help out, please, give a little to the Marion "Suge" Knight Sugar Momma Foundation. Because you care!