The Good, the Bad, and the Bizarre

Alas, the day has come. I had a feeling of its inevitability. Readers, it's time to meet the parents who have done what no one in the world-or at least in the United States-has dared to do. Let's hear the applause, or hisses, for Heath and Deborah Campbell and their 3-year-old son, Adolf Hitler Campbell.

You read correctly. MSNBC reports a Greenwich, N.J. couple named their child after one of the world's most infamous fascists, but it didn't become evident until the child's recent, third birthday. The Campbells ordered a birthday cake from a ShopRite store, and after requesting their son's name to be frosted on the cake, they were outright denied.

Earlier, I gave the option of applauding or booing because of the following reason: Are these parents the anti-Semitic, swastika-tattooed spawns of Hitler, or two regular, harmless citizens who see a name merely as that-a name?

The father's exact words: "A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what Hitler did." And in regards to people giving him crap through Internet postings, Campbell said, "[People] need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past."

I agree with Campbell, to a point. What is a name, really? Technically, a group of letters assembled to create a phonetic sound that is not too un-pronounceable. Although there are times I still think of Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter when I bite into a Fuji or Red Delicious, I've become quite open-minded of our interesting, ever-growing diversity of personal identification.

I'd be more open-minded if Campbell's two other children weren't named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. This plus Campbell's German ancestry plus his statement on being raised "not to avoid people of other races but to not mix with them socially or romantically," as he said, makes one wonder: Does this couple have a supremacist inclination? Or are they simply proud of their heritage, as many people are? Let's also consider the fact that Campbell wants to give his children an upbringing different from his.

Ultimately, I must do a clap-boo-clap-boo. Assuming the Campbells aren't planning another Holocaust, I applaud their courage to prove that a name is a name is a name. Then I boo them for subjecting their son to a lifetime of taunts and threats. Seriously now, most people in today's society will not accept "Adolf Hitler Campbell" as just a name. Especially if they have Jewish roots. Especially if they have family who were Holocaust victims. Especially if they were a Holocaust victim themselves. I can already picture a judge granting Adolf Hitler Campbell a name change. Most likely to Martin Luther Campbell.