Loneliness Comes in Many Ways

Right now I am sitting here lonely because my husband has been at a campout all week. It is hard to fix a meal for one person, even if two cats think they should eat it. I vent this loneliness as best I can chatting on computer and encouraging others via computer or phone, but I still miss my husband.Yet I've gone to potluck socials at church and felt more lonely than this. No one but my husband sits with me. Rarely do I have anyone to talk to and yet I am a leader in the church. I try to talk to others, but sometimes I just give up and eat and leave, wishing I was not there.

I remember one time I was so lonely in a crowd. It was my husband's 5th anniversary working for the hospital. Everyone talked to him and acted like I was invisible. Now, my husband is not good at introducing me so I spent the whole time lonely, wishing for someone to talk to. I knew no one besides the boss my husband worked for.

My family all live out of state so I get lonely to see my Mom, my sisters, brothers and most of all my oldest daughter. She came down for three days over the 4th and it was a 12-hour drive one way.

My other daughter lives 10 min. away and I can still be lonely if I waited for a visit, with gas prices so high. We try instead to talk on the phone once a day.

I know my Mom is lonely because she gets confused and the family keep talking about putting her in a Nursing home. I live miles away, but so far have notified other members to prevent that. But people don't know how to deal with her confusion. They are learning and trying to visit, even when she cannot remember her own grandchildren. When I call her, sometimes she knows, and other times she doesn't.

I think the reason this is heavy on me today is I could drive over to my daughter's, but I am in one of those women's moody times and wish to be alone.