Musing from the Old World
So today, and next week I’m going to write a little about the unheralded, unscientific, unpretentious and definitely unacademic reasons you, I and everybody else should love going to the movies.
I’m thinking I’ll give them in the form of a list, and note why each and every one of the things I describe are so kick-ass. So often, we’re told why something is great for reasons we don’t quite understand, or find unimportant. I want to big up the little things about our movie experience, the things in the films which are overlooked, maligned, or just not treated with the love they deserve.
On that note, let me begin:
(1): Credit sequences- Seriously, these are often cool. I’m not talking about the boring ones where it’s just a black screen with some dude's name on it and a tiny bit of minimalistic music barely playing in the background. I’m talking about the James Bond, take-names and kick-ass spectacles where the producers go out of their way to present a three minute mini-movie, a self contained extravaganza that ups excitement levels for the upcoming flick.
(2): The well timed and profound voice-over: Every film school in America will tell you why voice over is redundant, lame, and bad storytelling. What they often neglect to mention however, is that good voice-over is one of the most enjoyable techniques (for the viewer), of getting a point across and making them think. As a framing device, used at the beginning and end of a movie, voice-over is almost unequaled in its ability to articulate the key points of a project, and tie together neatly the thousands of occasionally disparate images we encounter throughout 120-something minutes of film. Examples of (to me) good voice over occur in Dario Argento’s Suspiria (One line at the beginning of the movie as a kind of ‘farewell to normal’ before things turn to shit for the protaganist and get messed up) and Cameron Crowe’s Elizabethtown when Drew muses profoundly and articulately on the glory inherent in spectacular failure (“No true fiasco ever began as a search for mere adequacy”).
(3): The hot girl at the concessions stand: I think this one may just be me, so I’ll move on!
(4): The Soundtrack: Let’s face it, you’ve got that Dolby digital surround sound in theaters, and it’s just going to waste if it’s not used to crank out some awesome tunes. I’m talking about the bass reverberating, floor shaking beats of the rocking Fast and the Furious collection, or the tear inducing sensitivity of any group of songs from a Zach Braff project. Look at the posters, or Google the soundtracks and pick your movie accordingly. In almost no other branch of the arts are two projects so closely interdependent, a fantastically shot movie with a horrible soundtrack will suck, and even a Michael Bay effort will be enjoyable if it is scored to The Shins and Iron and Wine.
(5): The trailers: Do they give Oscars for trailers? I’m not sure, but I hope so, and if they don’t, they should. Unpublicized movie piece of trivia #1- 99.9% of trailers look awesome and psyche you up to see the movie, even if the full thing is a piece of crap. I know, magic, right?! I want to meet the dude who skilfully edited two minutes and whatever of Love Happens and made it seem like a good movie and shake his hand, because that guy is nothing less than a creative genius. Occasionally, there’s “buzz” about trailers and people buy tickets just to see them (see any Star Wars prequel installment for proof of this), but even if you just go to the theater on an average wet Tuesday afternoon to see something you’ve never heard of, you will see, I guarantee, at least two trailers that will make you sit up and say “Dang! I gotta see that!” Caveat emptor though, caveat emptor.
(6): Keeping an eye out for mistakes: Whether it’s a Roman Soldier wearing a digital wristwatch, a Mini Cooper parked outside the Coliseum as a chariot race takes place, or the IRA using car bombs a full 50 years before they were invented, the movie business has always presented us with baffling, often hilarious absences of logic and just plain ludicrousness. IMDB keeps a list of hilarious mistakes made by filmmakers and the carelessness of editorial staff, and viewers would be surprised how many gigantic gaps in logic and sense go unnoticed because of a lack of attention from cinema goers. If something is touted as being a “serious” movie, go to it, and bring binoculars. You will see something stupid if you pay close enough attention, and then forward it to me, and I will let the world know. As Borat would say, “Great success!”
(7): Block Shots: A block shot is (roughly) a shot that takes in one side of a conversation, not quite a POV but showing one of the speakers at a time. It’s hard to describe, sue me! Anyway, they allow the most skilled actors excellent opportunity of expression when a close up is involved, and the entire shot depends upon the actors emotion, and facial expression. (If a beautiful actress is involved, this is also where we fall in love with her)
(8): Gratuitous body counts in action movies: Needs no explanation, often kicks ass while defying logic, fulfilling two of my personal criteria for becoming legendary.
Read next weeks column for more, as I continue my list!