Patrick Swayze's Widow Talks About Grief

Patrick Swayze's widow, Lisa Niemi, spoke at the Grief, Healing and Resilience panel at Maria Shriver's Women's Conference in Long Beach, Calif., on Tuesday afternoon.

Only six weeks after losing her husband after 34 years of marriage she told MSNBC, "I thought during the 22 months of my husband's illness that it gave me all this time to get used to the idea of losing him. And I found for myself, when I actually got to that point, I said, 'N-n-n-n-n-No.' It wasn't the same at all. The actual loss — it's like an animal all of its own…. It made all the sadness and grief previous to that look like an intellectual concept."

This was the first time Niemi has spoken since her husband's death.

How does she make it through the darker hours? She relies on a close group of friends. Niemi told People, "I have a few girlfriends that are just amazing. They have made themselves available to me 24/7.

"I am so grateful for what I had and my connection to [Patrick], and part of me believes that I will see him again and I'm just going to have to go on until then."

Elizabeth Edwards and Susan St. James, both of whom lost children in accidents and California First Lady and Women's Conference host Maria Shriver, who this summer lost her mother, Eunice Shriver and uncle, Ted Kennedy, joined Niemi on-stage.