“The Rolling Stones” – Aired Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 10 p.m. on USA
Tustin, California is a typical suburb and the day is beautifully normal. George Stone is a plain looking man in a neutral colored business suit. He pulls up to the garage in his SUV, getting out to bring in the trash can while talking on his cell phone. It all seems usual to him, so he is not paying much attention to his surroundings. However, as the garage door is lifted up, we see serious-faced men standing inside the garage. George stands shocked.
Inside the house, George is tied to a chair and the men are interrogating him, smashing everything in sight in anger as George stutters, telling them he knows nothing. The boss comes in, takes one look at George, and berates the men. They had the right car, but the wrong guy. George, relieved and terrified, stammers as he tries to make a deal with the men to save his own skin. “I’m not a hero,” he insists, claiming he will not testify against them. The men aren’t satisfied and go to shoot him, but at that moment the FBI storms in and arrests the men.
Mary Shannon (Mary McCormack) narrates the opening philosophical point. She brings up a nun’s rule about keeping out of trouble by doing nothing when trouble is happening. We may not get in trouble, but is it really the right thing to do?
Turns out the men were going after George’s brother, Billy. Because of that, Billy has to be put in WitSec too. George and Billy Stone are described as “brothers in the gene pool, but as polar opposite as you can get.” They are compared to Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple. Billy steps out of the van, covered in tattoos and wearing a bright orange muscle shirt that says, “I’m with stupid.” Smiling, he waves to Mary and Marshall (Frederick Weller), who wear “Oh great” expressions on their faces.
Alone with Marshall, George vents to him about Billy. George describes Billy as having a good heart but makes bad choices. “Everything he does ends up on me,” complains George.
Meanwhile, Billy tries to make things right by confessing everything to Mary. Billy wants to relocate with George, but George wants to be as far away from his brother as he can be. Chief Inspector Stan McQueen (Paul Ben-Victor) firmly lets George know that if he does not make a deal with Billy, there will be no protection.
Aside from George and Billy’s drama, Mary has her own problems to worry about. Uncomfortable with becoming a mother, she wrestles with the idea of giving the child up for adoption. On the other hand, her sister Brandi (Nichole Hiltz) and her mother Jinx (Lesley Ann Warren) gush with excitement about Mary’s pregnancy.
Brandi offers to take the child and raise it with her fiancé Peter. Mary, in her trademark sarcastic tone, expresses her displeasure with the idea of Brandi being “Aunt Mom.” Brandi takes it as mean, and Mary thinks she and Peter won’t be good parents. Mary tries to explain herself, but the situation overwhelms her with confusion.
Getting a hold of herself, Mary spells out her concerns. “Single mothers are super heroes, but I don’t wanna be one,” says Mary. “I don’t know what it takes to be a good mother. But I have a pretty good handle on what it takes to be a bad one,” Mary insinuates, looking at her mother.
George and Billy continue adding to the pile of frustration building up. Things were starting to look up for George. He met a nice girl with Lori and was out on a date with her and Oscar, her dog. Billy shows up with the intention of apologizing, but George immediately assumes he will ruin the date and treats Billy harshly. Except, Billy unintentionally does ruin everything by revealing that George hates dogs. George calls Billy “girlfriend kryptonite.”
George snaps and threatens to leave. He compares Billy to an albatross, or burden around his neck. Billy pleads with George to not leave. Reluctantly, George gives in.
Just when things are looking up for the Stones, Billy is caught on tape vandalizing a car. When Mary and Marshall question him about it, he claims he didn’t do it. Investigation reveals that it was not Billy – rather, it was George impersonating him. George made fake tattoo skins to wear on his arms and copied Billy’s signature.
George admits that he framed Billy so he could get away from him. Hurt, Billy confides to George, “I wanted you to like me half as much as I love you.”
Later, Mary gets a call from George that Billy could not be found and had left a message on the bottom of a flip-flop in front of his door.
Billy had returned to Tustin and we find him at an amusement park. He is waiting to speak with Rydell Monroe, the man in charge of the raid on George’s house. Wanting to right everything, Billy makes a deal with Rydell that he will not testify if they leave Billy and George alone. Mary and Marshall rush in to save the day, but Rydell takes Billy hostage and runs away with him. A chase ensues and Rydell is caught and Billy is safe.
Earlier, Mary and Marshall had made a bet about the brothers. Marshall claimed he won. They argue, but Chief McQueen steps in and makes them compromise – each has to do something they hate. Marshall has to eat hot dogs every day for a week and Mary has to take Oscar the dog.
Billy and George are being split up so George can have freedom and Billy learn responsibility.
Mary narrates the closing philosophical point about how children raised in the same house can turn out drastically different. She says it really is luck of the draw. She finishes, “In the end, as it is in the beginning, the child is going to be who the child is.”