Raising kids: who's in charge?

From the time your little one starts kindergarten, it's a letting go process. It's not easy to watch them carry their little lunch box and go off for the day to learn to spell, write and tie their shoes. As a parent, you so desperately want to do everything for them. You want to tie their shoes; you want to push away that bully on the playground. You want to do their homework so they get straight A's and eventually get into that college of your choice.

Years go by and before you know it, you're attending their high school graduation. If your offspring goes on to college, those four or five years go by in a heartbeat. As they cross the stage to accept their college diploma, you're hoping your hard earned tuition dollars were not wasted. And most of all you hope your graduate will find a way into the world, be able to support themselves and maybe even help to pay back those college loans.

Once your child turns 18, guess what? Even though you're paying the college bills, the airplane tickets back and forth for that long-awaited Thanksgiving or Winter Break; even though you've asked them about why they are taking Archery instead of Business and have tried to find out if they are in fact attending class, what grades they are getting in college -- guess what? You no longer really have a say in their lives. You may like to think you do, but you don't.

When someone turns 18, they are now considered an adult. They can get married, they can vote, they are responsible for themselves and their actions, whether you like it or not.

So, when you're child turns 18, it's time not only for them to grow up, but also for you, as a parent, to grow up too. And remember, just because they are 18, doesn't mean they love and appreciate all you've done for them. Eventually (probably when they have their own kids), they will come around and thank you for everything you've done for them. In the meantime, hang tight parents and pour yourself a glass of something sweet, you've earned it.