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This week’s episode of South Park parodies the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, and it begins with a play rehearsal from the kindergarten class of South Park Elementary. Their play about dental hygiene appears to be running smoothly until Tooth Decay (Ike Broflovski) fails to appear. Mr. Mackey, the play’s coordinator, is infuriated by Ike’s absence and wonders where he could be.
The scene then switches to Ike as he sits atop his couch and watches the Canadian Royal Wedding. Many Canadian traditions are followed, from the sprinkling of Cap’n Crunch to the rendition of “The March of a Thousand Farts.” Yet, the ceiling of the cathedral starts collapsing before the “aboot to be” Princess can scrape the butterscotch pudding off the Prince’s arms. Many Canadians die, and the princess becomes trapped within an isometric cube.
The abduction of the Princess instigates Ike’s depression, and he cries during his portrayal of Tooth Decay. Mr. Mackey doesn’t understand why Ike is so sad, so he sends him home. During his trip home, Ike hears a message from the Prime Minister of Canada, which implores all Canadians to immediately open their Boxes of Faith.
Ike shifts through his closet and finds his Box of Faith, listens to the message, and dons a suit of armor. Eventually, Ike learns that he is not the only Canadian in America, and he receives the assistance of Ugly Bob, who is so ugly that he wears a brown lunch bag over his head.
The Prime Minister first blames the abduction of the Princess on a giant, and he lures the giant with a steaming bowl of Kraft Dinner. Interestingly, the giant turns out to be none other than the greatest Canadian Patriot of all-time, Scott the Dick. A radioactive accident transformed Scott since we last saw him in “Terrence and Phillip in Not Without My Anus,” so he is now Scott the Giant Dick.
Although many Canadians give up on the quest to save the Princess, Scott tells Ike and Ugly Bob that they can learn the truth from the Native Canadians, the Inuits. Ike and friends find a family of Inuits, but they get ambushed before they can ask them for assistance. Ultimately, the Inuit people reveal that the abduction of the Princess was foretold.
Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey forces Kyle Broflovski to take on the role of Tooth Decay. Kyle is consistently flat during his performance, and he receives his fair share of criticism from Mr. Mackey and the other kindergarteners. However, Mr. Mackey becomes irate with the entire class when the kindergarteners attempt to shift all the blame on Kyle. He reveals that the play is extremely important to him, and that he’s been working on it for over six years because his father was a victim of Tooth Decay. The kids must learn the importance of dental hygiene or they will fall victim to Tooth Decay as well.
Yet, Mr. Mackey’s emotional speech did not improve the performance of the kindergarteners. Although the parents of the children enjoy the play, Mr. Mackey belittles the children before the final scene. The South Park Police enter the room, and it appears that Mr. Mackey will be chastised. However, Mr. Mackey is extremely relieved when the policemen tell him that a group of Canadians “got Tooth Decay.”
That group of Canadians consisted of Ike, Ugly Bob, an Inuit woman, and Scott the Giant Dick. The group found the Princess locked away in Tooth Decay’s castle. Scott and the Inuit woman initially try to ward off Tooth Decay, but he easily throws them against the wall. Ike thinks about charging Tooth Decay, but he ultimately resorts to removing the lunch bag on Ugly Bob’s head. Bob is so hideous that he turns Tooth Decay into stone.
The day is saved by the most unlikely of heroes, and the “aboot to be” Princess rewards the group by giving them medals of white chocolate. Ike is knighted and receives the greatest reward of all. The episode concludes the way it would have had Tooth Decay not interrupted the ceremony. The Prince tore off the arm of his wife and began using it for an extremely devious purpose.