Weeds Season 5 Finale Recap

Weeds concluded it's fifth season, Monday, concluding this chapter of Nancy Botwin's crazy life of drugs.

The episode begins with Nancy greeting a masseuse and telling her to go away. After talking, Nancy obliges and recieves a massage. The masseuse says she was sent by Pilar.

Elsewhere, Celia stirs a pitcher of juice and vodka in a storage unit, laying low while the "cops" are after her. Doug appears, and after Celia asks him to help her, he accidentally breaks the news that the "cop" was a setup. Celia hits him in the head with the pitcher.

Nancy talks to Shane in the kitchen before walking off to feed the baby. Adelita calls Silas up to her room. She's lying in bed motionless and asks Silas to hand her the laptop four feet away. He says "no" then she admits her body's numb from injecting heroin and she needs his help.

Meanwhile, Andy and Audra walk into the garage to find the General Lee is now a red fuel-efficient mini-van. Andy has sold the slot machine and all his other frivolous toys and proposes to Audra with the wedding ring around the rearview mirror. Before she can say "yes," Silas calls asking for Audra's help.

Nancy walks outside to find Esteban and Pilar talking. She tells Nancy Esteban will win even if he's married to her and invites Nancy to a party she's having later that night. She tells Nancy to only come for 30 minutes though, after that she will get a headache and leave. Once Pilar exits, Esteban tells Nancy that Pilar has everything and that his choices were to cooperate with her or spend the rest of his life in jail. He then smells his deodorant on Nancy and forbids her from ever doing this again.

Nancy talks to Guillermo and says she wants the hit on Pilar done today.

Celia now has Doug tied up and the two trade insults before realizing they're both greedy and stupid and need each other's help. They decide to team up and sell the weed Celia had purchased.

Andy and Audra arrive at the Reyes/Botwin house to find Silas and Nancy outside Adelita's door. Silas tells everyone what's happening and he and Audra go inside. Nancy and Andy sit downstairs, where Andy tells Nancy she's gloating because Esteban's daughter is as "broken" as her son. She finds some consolation knowing he isn't an exemplary parent either.

Esteban walks in and Nancy tells him Adelita isn't feeling well. When he inquires and thinks she's pregnant, she spills the beans and tells him his daughter is a heroin addict. Esteban fumbles his thoughts and walks out.

Celia has assembled her team: Doug, Dean, Sanjay, Ignacio, and Isabel.

Andy and Audra confess their love for one another when they find Glen, the abortion activist, sitting in the garage with a crossbow aimed at them. Andy runs, Audra stays.

At Pilar's party, Nancy looks bored. Shane and Silas talk about Adelita (She's going to Arizona) and why Silas didn't go to Europe (he stuck by his brother). They then talk about Nancy, and Silas says her luck will run out someday.

Cesar tells Nancy to get used to being the happy wife in the back then walks away. Esteban apologizes to Nancy and gives her his coat. As Nancy walks outside, Pilar joins her and says she's impressed by Nancy's "cahones," but Guillermo was a bad choice; he was still mad at Nancy for ratting him out. Nancy explains her hatred towards Pilar and Pilar responds by telling Nancy that they will need to take family pictures of her and Esteban, without Shane or Silas. "Maybe they will die tragically in a car accident," she says. Just then Shane whacks Pilar in the face with a croquet mallet sending her head first into a fountain.