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What Guys Really Care About
31-Mar-2008
Written by: Joe Cristalli
Fifteen-year-old Disney stars and their impact on my life.
As a male college student, there are few things that really get me excited. There are so few times I can stand up and say, “HELL YES!” Maybe the Syracuse Orange have a big basketball game and I got floor seats in the carrier dome. Maybe there’s an intramural softball game and I hit 4 homeruns, despite being drunker than the guy who ok’d the series That '80s Show. Maybe, just maybe, some really hot girl makes a mistake and comes home with me. These are all examples of what I consider to be “living the dream.”
So what else does this guy like? What purpose could he be attempting to set up with his inane little comedy rule of three intro? I’ll tell you what I’m all about. I like hearing my favorite song on the radio. I like it even more when I hear it upwards of three times in a single hour. Who gets played that much you ask? I’ll give you one hint. She won favorite female singer at Nickelodeon’s 2008 Kids’ Choice Awards. I know, right?
Destiny Hope Cyrus, more commonly known as Miley, is a real visionary in the musical world. Now I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no, I’m not a lunatic. I’m just a regular guy who can truly appreciate brilliance when he hears it. Think about it. Think about some of the lyrics that have stood the test of time and have been revered for their creativity, their vision and their, for lack of a better word, bitchin’-ness. Now think about this. . . . “The last time I freaked out, I just kept lookin’ down, I st-st-stuttered when, you asked me what I’m thinkin’ ‘bout.” Gold, right? Well, that’s the beginning of the chorus from the recent Cyrus hit, “See You Again.” Can the girl miss? Doesn’t look like it.
No, there’s nothing wrong with me. No, I am absolutely not being sarcastic and putting down anything having to do with Hannah Montana. . . . I’m just trying to get the word out that Miley is here to stay and it won’t be long before the world knows. I mean when you’re honored with not just one, BUT TWO venerated Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards, you know you’ve arrived. Personally, I’d love to delve a little deeper into the psyche that is Miley Cyrus’s lyrics, but dammit, I just don’t have the time. I could write an entire thesis about how “See You Again” is actually going to be the next “Stairway to Heaven,” but for reasons that go beyond me I will leave you with this. . . . I’m not a mind reader, but I’m readin’ the signs. You can’t wait . . . to see me again. Miley Cyrus is the John Lennon of 15-year-old girls. You’re not gonna go buy the album, but definitely illegally download her stuff. You’ll thank me later.
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