Confessions of an iPod

While mainstream media has a hay day analyzing Bush's iPod play list, TheCelebrityCafe.com goes straight to the source: the First iPod, itself.

TCC: Welcome, First iPod.

iPod: Hi, yall!

TCC: How long have you and George been together?

iPod: The twins introduced me to Dubbaya at his birthday last July. We've been taking bike trips together ever since.

TCC: What's your favorite moment with the President?

iPod: Well golly, I really just enjoy all the heart-pumping time we spend together. He has to be fit, you know.

TCC: The New York Times said that you hold a lot of country music for him.

iPod: Yes, I do. He's a big fan of all those honey-tonk favorites, from George Jones to Alan Jackson to Kenny Chesney.

TCC: And he works out to those artists?

iPod: He most certainly does. My motto is listen to whatever makes your sun shine. George loves his country music. He is from Texas, yall.

TCC: That makes sense, but how do you explain the tracks from John Fogarty and Van Morrison, among others?

iPod: Well, that's simple, hon. Dubbaya needs a little variety like the rest of us. Take "My Sharona." Now, that is a great workout ditty.

TCC: Rolling Stone magazine's Joe Levy said, "One thing that's interesting is that the president likes artists who don't like him." Give us your thoughts.

iPod: I agree with Mark [McKinnon, Bush's chief media strategist for his 2004 campaign] on this one: If George only listened to people who supported all of his decisions, he wouldn't have much to listen to, now would he? That's just the way the political cookie crumbles.

TCC: Why do you lack rap and female artists?

iPod: Because he is not the Presidizzo, that's why. As for female artists, he has some Joni Mitchell. And do you really think the President could work out to Jewel? The only way I see him listening to some more female artists is if he picks up dance aerobics. Not that I would mind, haha.

TCC: And the lack of the Beatles?

iPod: Err, no comment.

TCC: Now for the question on everyone's mind: Is he good to you?

iPod: He has never violated me in any way. I am 100 percent legal, purchased from the iTunes store. But I do feel a little, well, unfulfilled.

TCC: Why's that?

iPod: George has only filled me with 250 songs. I have a capacity of 10,000. I am a whole lot of iPod! And he doesn't even pick the music himself. Blake [Gottesman, Bush's personal aide] buys the songs and albums. Don't get me wrong. Blake's a nice guy and all, but he's just not Georgie.

TCC: We're all glad to hear that you're loyal to your President.

iPod: (sniffle) Thank you, yall. It really means a lot to this little, ol' iPod.