Big Brother All-Stars Season Episode 27

So we learn Janelle lost the first round of the HOH competition because she took one hand off her key amidst the Mike forfeit drama. Mike goes off to weep in the Diary Room. His DR session consists of him lashing out at Erika by declaring her to have been a "ho-mance." Mike says, "I used that girl up for all I need." Mike then starts to seriously cry while recalling the Chill Town days, "We can dish it out but we can't take it."

Part II of the HOH competition is between Mike and Janelle. They walk into the yard to find a car suspended in the air. I despise product placement so I won't say the name of the car even though the producers manage to get each remaining houseguest to repeat it at least 92 times. The car is suspended within a ring. The ring is lined with mirrors with the names of past winners. And there are lasers. The contestants must swing around the ring in a harness in order to line-up the laser from one winner's mirror to the next, in chronological order. Mike wins! I was shocked, too. Erika gives him a big huge hug and her confessional reveals, "I hate the fact that I'm still attracted to him." I take back all the props I gave Erika last recap.

Meanwhile, Will enters the Jury house. Most everyone is happy to see him, especially Howie, who keeps trying to make out with him. Howie may be an emotionally disturbed idiot, but I've always respected the way he is the only hamster capable of unnerving the self-entitled Puppet Master.

The final part of the final HOH competition is between Erika and Mike. Julie reads the beginning of statements made by members of the jury house then lists two possible conclusions for Erika and Mike to choose from. Will's statement was in response to what was the most shocking moment of the Fast Forward. Erika chooses the conclusion most likely to come from Will while Mike chooses the least likely response. Hmm, I wonder why. Erika is an idiot and doesn't get what a total set-up it is. By that one answer, Mike wins the final HOH competition. I've lost interest in the show again.

Janelle is the last guest to be evicted. Julie asks Janelle what was her biggest mistake. Janelle says it was trusting Chill Town and putting up Marcellas. The goodbye messages are interesting. Erika gushes over what a great player Jani was and declares, "I adore you." Mike also does his best to secure a vote by saying Jani is like Chill Town in that she gets the game, or whatever.

So, it's between Erika and Mike. The floater and the booger. It should be Janelle and Danielle, and I truly wish those chicks had gotten together to destroy this game. It could have been hush-hush like Dani did with Jason back in Season three. The All-Stars would have totally respected her gangsta unlike those babies who voted lazy floater Lisa the winner. I'm too disgusted to go on. I bet five bucks that Erika wins.