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Vialta Beamer Video Phone
Written by: Dominick A. Miserandino
Is a video phone truely a good idea?
Who would have thought that the Jetson's reality would have been the death of me. In the infamous cartoon, George is constantly getting in trouble with his boss who calls him on a video phone. I've suffered from the same thing.
Let me explain. My assistant, Michael, suggested that I test the video phone so my wife and I could call my dear sweet Italian mother-in-law. After following my travel-story adventures where I mention my interactions with my mother-in-law, he thought it would be quite funny to see the effects of seeing La Madre on a regular basis.
The Vialta Beemer Video Phone is a sleek looking panel with a tiny TV and a camera on top that promises to allow you to see your friends and family whether you like seeing them or not. It's flat, slick, and modern enough to look cool, but not too modern that it looks odd beside your telephone.
Upon taking it out of the box, I have to say it's the easiest damn thing in the world to set up. I drove to La Madre's house and plugged it in, explaining that tonight she'll be able to see her daughter.
"Why won't she just visit?" she asked in her broken accent.
I wanted to explain the benefits of a healthy distance, but that was not going to over well.
In leaving, she turned the videophone to face the wall as she was concerned that we could see her in the bathroom. I explained that we could neither see through walls nor would we want to.
Later that night, I plugged in the video phone, with my eager wife, Margherita, by my side. Again, it took literally 30 seconds to install. It's just a matter of plugging in the inbound and outbound telephone cords and clicking on the power.
Within minutes we got to hear, "'allo!" and, then, see a lovely imagery of my mother-in-law's kitchen wall.
"Turn it around, mom." my wife Margherita requested.
"Oh Mama mia!" she screamed. Then, picture a three-inch television screen with a little Italian head bobbing up and down and screaming. For the next 10 minutes we had a dancing and singing little old Italian lady pointing and giggling.
For the next three weeks we received calls to show us variants of lost cousins, new recipes, a strange skin mole and the newest form of pasta. We saw lost cousins dancing and we heard old Italian men screaming into the phone as if that would help us hear them any better. We saw dogs jump, cats climb and Italian sausages fly through the air.
Overall, the quality was clean and clear; much better than expected. Occasionally the audio quality dropped, but that was advantageous at times as sometimes I just didn't want to listen. It really was more than worth it to see the happy faces of the little Sicilians running around. That said, I would only recommend the video phone if you can tolerate your in-laws. Now, I'm being forced to find seven more of the phones for each of the uncles and aunts.
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