Alex McCord Shows She is More Than a "Housewife"

Alex McCord is one of Bravo's Real Housewives of New York City. She and her husband, Simon van Kempen, have been the talk of the show between their flair for unique fashion and being the only ones living in Brooklyn, along with their two kids, Francois and Johan. Now, the two of them have written a book on parenting in NYC, entitled Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City (With Lessons on Life and Love for Your Own Concrete Jungle). They share their experiences and adventures of raising two small boys in the Big Apple with their own unique style and humor. Watching the show will leave no doubt that McCord is a mother first and foremost, although publicly known as a Housewife. TCC's Kim Alsumiri had a chance to catch up with McCord and talk with her about the book and being a mom.

TCC: Congratulations on your book which came out April 6. How long have you and Simon been working on it?

AM: We started this process back in 2004, way before Housewives ever started, when I started writing down the stories of things I couldn't believe with raising children. I mean, we're coming from the perspective that we didn't want to have children when we first got married. It was after we had been married for three years that we suddenly decided that it would be something to do, haha, and just because our love had grown and we wanted to share our love. And I researched and researched when I was first pregnant with Francois, I read everything I could get my hands on, from books on what to expect when you're expecting to the doctor books, the expert books, and also stories written by other moms and dads. And that's what I responded to the most, the stories from the trenches, from other parents. And even having all that, when it happens to you, it's still a unique experience. So I started writing the stories down initially on my own, just because we couldn't believe what was happening. And we thought that we would save them for first Francois, and then Johan when he came along, to read later on. Along the way, a part of that had been accepted for a publication deal as part of an anthology with a lot of others, and I don't think they ever wound up publishing that. So that was an experience that kind of stuck in my head, and I thought, well maybe, maybe down the line there will be an opportunity to do something with this, other than just keep it for the boys. We then, in between the first and second seasons, met with a lit agent and we were just talking about what we would possibly write about if we were to write a book, and a light went off in my head. I thought, 'Oh, wow, ok, um, this is something we already have going!' So we decided we would write it together and there's no ghost writer involved, for the record, it's all us, and we decided to make it a “he said/ she said, ” similar to the rapport we have on the show. Once we did that, it took about a year, well, eighteen months from start to finish, uh the writing- sometimes getting up at 5 o'clock in the morning and writing for an hour before the boys get up. Um, towards the very end we barricaded ourselves in the dining room for a weekend and read the entire thing out loud to each other. It's really been a great process, it's been something we did together and we enjoyed that, it's been, I know this may sound corny, but it's been great to relive some of the crazy stories that we had jotted down somewhere, so we sort of got to experience it all over again when we were writing about each one.

TCC: In your book, an excerpt was circulating that said you had a drink while you were pregnant if you wanted one. And this created QUITE a stir on the internet. How did you feel when it came out and the nay-sayers spoke up, even though you meant it innocently?

AM: So, the thing is, I made that decision in conjunction with our health care provider. And the funny thing is, yes there have been a lot of people, most of whom don't seem to have children, who said, 'Oh isn'y that terrible, oh gosh, you should never have one sip of alcohol!' People I think are a little bit hyperbolic when they talk about this, and certainly it's a hot button issue, but it's something that each mother has to decide with her health care provider and her partner and her self. I looked at ALL the research about alcohol, caffeine, hair dye, mayonnaise, fish, you name it. And ultimately decided, with a midwife and Simon and myself, that moderation was key. Obviously you don't drink in like crazy amounts or take drugs, neither of which I did anyway. It was first in the New York Daily News and then Perez Hilton, and then it snowballed from there. Um, really, it was blown up to be something that it was not. Certainly yes, I would order a glass of wine at dinner, maybe toward the end of the pregnancy, and have half of it. That's not the same as going out and boozing and being drunk under the table. I personally think that a taste here and there while you're eating is much less dangerous than eating too many super size value meals, eating cookies, candy, soda, all of those things you know you shouldn't be doing anyway, let alone when you're pregnant.

TCC: Is it hard to be such a public parent figure?

AM: Um, other than creating controversy on hot button issues, not really, haha. There are always people out there who, you know we have a chapter called, “Don't Listen to the Well-Meaning Morons,” which is there are always people out there who have the idea of how you should raise a child or how you should manage a pregnancy or how you should manage the first six months with a new born. And everyone always thinks that their way is the only way, and those are the people that usually have nothing better to do than criticize others to make themselves feel better. And I think that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and if they think they are then they are lying to themselves and everyone else. Part of what we do in the book as well as on the show when we show our family, is we just show how we are, warts and all. We're definitely not perfect, and in the book you see sometimes there are times when we want to high five each other, and other times there are things that happened that made us want to set our hair on fire and run away screaming, things that are frustrating, things that are joyous, and all of that is real life. In the book we talk about the good, the bad, the ugly, the disgusting, haha! And I think that there are too many things that go into each parent's life that you really can't judge any parent, whether it's Simon and myself, or anyone else, by one thing. It's really everything put together, and people just do the best that they can.

TCC: How different is your parenting style from how you and Simon were raised?

AM: Our parenting styles are I would say pretty much the same. Um, it's the location that's different, Simon grew up in Australia, and I grew up going between Texas and Kansas and the Virgin Islands, none of which are like New York City. And so really it's the setting rather than the doing that's different. Simon and I both were raised largely by our moms, we both had dads that were 25 years older than our moms, and consequently died very early; Simon was five and I was eleven. So we grew up with strong moms at home who were not afraid to let us go out and take personal responsibility for our own space. One of the things my mom has said is that every kid deserves the chance to break an arm. Not that you want them to, but that they need to learn how to take responsibility for their own space. I grew up with my dad in the oil business, so I grew up helping him pull snakes off of the coat jacks, where they crawled in during winter to keep themselves warm, so, haha. And once he was gone, I was running around, kind of just doing, I don't want to say running around doing whatever I wanted to do, because that makes it sound like mom didn't have a firm hand on me, because she absolutely did, haha. Um, and the other thing that I think is similar is neither of our mothers condescended to us as kids. And you need to discipline kids, you need to give them boundaries, but you don't want to treat them like idiots. One thing I have a real problem with is people trying to dumb things down for kids. No, you don't think of them quite as adults, because no they can't handle that emotionally, but you don't say, 'Oh there, there, look at the pretty baby' and all sorts of idiotic nonsense. In the first season of the show, Simon's stepfather developed pancreatic cancer, and no we didn't go in with diagrams of the pancreas and no we didn't talk about multiple stages, but you know, we could say, as Simon did on the show, cancer is a disease where some parts of your body start attacking other parts, and your body can't handle all that and it breaks down and you die. And he was able to get that, actually I am oversimplifying it, I think we did talk about how not everyone dies from it, haha, but um, we try to give it to them straight as much as we can, and that's a lot of what you see in the book too. One thing that I love about the book is that we have a “top ten” at the end of each chapter. You know, top ten things you never thought you'd have to explain to someone, haha, um, and it's fun. We've enjoyed the whole process and now we just hope that people will see it and enjoy it as much as we did, and either laugh and think, 'Oh, I've been there!' or think, 'Wow! You can still have a baby and maintain your own sanity.' Well, maybe sanity is debatable, haha, but personality anyway. Or you know, people can look at it and say, 'Wow, I am never ever EVER going to do that!'

***People who want to check out the book can go to Alex and Simon's website, www.mccordvankempen.com to find out all the places you can buy the book and even meet Alex and Simon on their book tour. Also, don't forget to watch Bravo's real Housewives of New York City every Thursday at ***