Bethenny Frankel -

By: Kimberly H

Bethenny Frankel, known as the runner up on Apprentice: Martha Stewart and being the only non-wife on Bravo's The Real Housewives of New York City, is now adding author to her resume. The Celebrity Natural Food Chef is releasing her first book, “Naturally Thin: Unleash Your Skinny Girl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting” due in stores on March 10. Her line of “Skinny Girl” cocktails is also debuting in stores in May. TheCelebrityCafe.com's Kimberly H talked with Bethenny.

KH: Congratulations on the release of your upcoming book, “Naturally Thin: Unleash Your Skinny Girl and Free Yourself from a Lifetime of Dieting”. How long have you been working on your book and how did you come up with the 10 rules for your book?

BF: I knew I was going to write a book. It could have been a cookbook, it could have been a healthy cook book, and it could have gone different ways. But I never really do anything unless I have a really specific take on it. There's nothing kind of cookie cutter about me: nothing cookie cutter about where I live, what I drive, where I vacation, nothing. So I was patient enough to wait, because people always say, “I have to think of something, I have to come up with an invention.”

I was going to Italy with my ex-boyfriend, and we were traveling to go see Billy Joel, who is a friend of ours, perform at the Colosseum in Rome. I remember contacting a friend and saying, “Get me in the best restaurants in Rome and Venice.” She's friends with Mario Batali, and she called him.

I grew up in a very sort of toxic household, with alcoholism and bulimia, and I wasn't eating at home. I was eating out at restaurants all the time, and there was just a very unhealthy obsession with food in every direction. So if you looked at me, you would know I was always on a diet, since I was a kid, since I was like twelve, you know? When I was eight, I was in an obesity clinic and I wasn't even obese, I just tried every diet.

And I felt like, if I went to Italy, I would eat all the antipasti, all the vegetables, and try a salad, and on the last day go absolutely crazy and have like tons of gelato, or you know paella, and be a full mess and then hate myself, and that when I came home I would quote-unquote, 'be good.'

Some sort of light bulb went off before I went on this trip saying to myself, “This is crazy thinking. I am going on this trip and going to go to all these restaurants that have been suggested to me and I am going to taste everything and eat nothing.” I was going to come back and my jeans were going to be the same size.

I went to Italy, and sure enough I just kind of developed the first and overriding rule of my book, which is 'your diet is a bank account.' You really can have it all, you just can't have it at once and you have to decide what good investment foods are, bad investment foods, and sort of knowing when to hold them and when to fold them. Because in New York I would have been like, I'll have a giant non-fat latte and then search high and low for like, a non-fat muffin because that would be my thing.

So when I went to Italy I would obsess, it would be no fun. What am I gonna find low-fat, what am I going to eat for breakfast, and is it whole wheat, and I would panic. Every single meal would be an internal negotiation, and an obsession.

So on this trip I was like, 'Ok, I'm having a small croissant, or a small whatever they have, pastry, or I'm going to have some fruit or have some bread and cheese. And I'm going to have a regular, full-fat cappuccino and not torture people in Italy and give the Americans a bad name because I was such a meatball.”

And it went through to every meal, where I would have gelato everyday, but it would be a small. It would be a perfectly flavored gelato rather than like back home with a big fat-free frozen yogurt that was the size of your head

So all these things I just had to change helped develop these rules. One of these rules is to have real food. It starts with “I want pasta,” but I am not going to have it twice a day. I'm going to have it once a day. It's just like buying a pair of shoes; you buy an expensive pair of shoes and the next time you buy a plain sweater or you don't buy anything. Or you buy a pair of sensible loafers and not a pair of stilettos, or you do, but next time you make a better decision. And the same thing happens with meals. If I decided at a lunch that I was going to have pasta, I would always have it with salad because you always have to have one good investment of food in a meal, like a salad, so you fill up on less and have less indulgence.

And that leads to the other rule: you cancel your membership to the 'clean plate club'. Which means it doesn't mean if you are eating chicken broth or steamed vegetables or eating fried chicken, you need to get into the habit of always leaving something on your plate because that will become a mindset, just like you need to get into the habit of ordering smalls, whether it is ice creams, or coffees, or anything.

I used to be the type of person who would get upset if there was some type of small muffin, and it would just give me anxiety because it wasn't a large. I think that is a huge problem in this country.

The thing that's beautiful about the book is that, there is no “beginning.” There is no “I'm starting tomorrow.” It's a whole life and it's a lifestyle, not a diet.

KH: So do you think that your readers in today's society are going to be able to accept having to do things in moderation?

BF: Yeah, because I am telling you what goes on in my head, not telling you what to do and here, just do it. That's what most diet books say. I'm saying, I was hungover last night but this morning I had a few pieces of watermelon and a hot chocolate. I knew it wasn't a great investment, but it's what I wanted, I did it, and so then I had to make a decision about what I was going to do the next day. It calms people down. It talks about “food voice” verses “food noise.” What I just explained to you was food voice. Food noise is, “Oh my God, oh my God, I want it, I want it, I'm going to hate myself. I am so bad. I am going to eat all day and I'm going to go crazy and I'm going to have this, that, and the other thing. And tomorrow I'm going to be good.”

Food voice is like, “It's ok to have friend chicken, it's ok to have a couple of french fries, but it's not ok.” This is the “check yourself before you wreck yourself” rule. It's not ok to go to the emotional place.

The emotional place is like, “I was bad.” Food is not your best friend or your enemy. You weren't bad, and nor were you good. The place you don't want to go is, “I was bad and I'm going to keep ruining myself and then tomorrow I am going to be ok.”

The reason people will be ok with it is because they are going to understand it rather than just jamming it down their throat. You can tell someone to have half a cantelope and some egg whites for breakfast, and they can get excited and be like, tomorrow I am going to start my diet, but after a couple of days, I don't want that. But they will never ever in that book--whatever diet book it is--feel that it's ok to eat hot chocolate for breakfast. But if you really want hot chocolate for breakfast, then you should have it. And if you really want those shoes, then you should buy them. But you can't be like the economy and then keep buying those shoes all day long.

KH: It sounds like your book is not like a typical book, but more like a conversation with your reader. You are still outspoken and you say what you mean and you know you are giving advice on how you did what you did and how other people can do it too, but you're not being abrasive about it like some other diet or cookbooks out there.

BF: Yeah. No, it’s not like “Skinny Bitch” where they are yelling at you for not being a vegan. Not at all. It's a new vernacular. I'm not saying I lost 150 pounds, because I didn't, I probably lost 30 pounds or more. But I would have been 100 pounds more if I had not constantly been on an obsessive up and down diet. And what I'm saying is like, “Diet is over.” It's the most honest thing I could say.

People say to me, “Oh you exercise five times a week. You must not eat at all.” And people are asking me, “What do you really eat?” It seems like a trick, it doesn't seem real. It's why I say, “Unleash Your Skinny Girl and Free Yourself from a Life of Dieting.” I fought my publisher for six months on that second title. They wanted it to be, you know, “Naturally Thin: Guide to a Delicious Life” and that's not what it is! What it is is that it's over. Unlock it, you have the key, this is it. I'm giving it to you.

KH: Your career is just continuing to sky-rocket. You have your brand, you have your cookbook, you're on “The Real Housewives of New York City.” What's next, what do you still have that you would like to accomplish?

BF: I have a line of Skinny Girl cocktails, beginning with the Skinny Girl Margaritas that will be in stores in June and that will begin sort of the brand of Bethenny and Skinny Girl which basically is, “You can have it all.” You can have a career, you can go out and you can have a drink, and everyone's a Skinny Girl. I'm redefining what 'Skinny Girl' is because this does not mean you need to be a size 2, by any stretch. You can be a size 12 and be a Skinny Girl. It's a healthy state of mind and not beating yourself up the way that they do about everything else in life like jobs, career, life, the economy.

I have a couple of television shows in the works, so there definitely will be at least one to two more TV shows besides the “Housewives” that are in the works now. My dream, which is a little, fun little dream is to be the guest host of “Saturday Night Live.”

KH: Do you think that “Housewives” has made your life easier on either a personal aspect or a professional aspect? Or do you think it has made things harder for you to go through some things in public and on camera? Everyone knows what you're going through, as you don't have as much privacy as you used to.

BF: Two things: I think that I was a tree with very, very ripe fruit ready to be picked. And so working with Health Magazine and Pepperidge Farm and having my brand and everything already starting, the “Housewives” show just launched it.

I am the first of all the housewives of all the cities to have a book deal. I'm the only one to have a multi-book deal, but I was definitely the first to have a book deal. I think I've motivated everyone else to get their business hats on and use it to their advantage which I'm proud of.

Personally … I was on the Apprentice [Martha Stewart] years ago and my friends would say, “Why doesn't it seem like you? Why aren't you being you, why aren't you being funny?” And I said because it is a competition show. They don't really care about me, they just care about who won, who is getting fired. And so I think that it's been really surprising and nice to be exactly who you are, to be honest and have people rooting for you. It is very nice to have people rooting for you; not that I need that, but it just feels nice. I'm the type of person who roots for people, that likes to have something to root for, so I think that's been really wonderful.

And as far as my personal life being portrayed, I think it's great. There are people on these shows that have their “TV life” and their personal life and I think that's cheating the audience. If you choose to do it, you know, you're not an actor. If you choose to be yourself, then be yourself. There are people tuning in. You have to give them their money's worth.

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