Clare Griffin, Mary - author of Language Lessons
By: Dominick A. Miserandino
Living two separate lives, Mary Clare wrote the acclaimed book on mourning and life, Language Lessons, For When Your Mom Dies, and then, on the other side of that, she writes erotica and is also a celebrity chef for the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, and Demi Moore.
DM) Was it difficult writing Language Lessons, considering the subject?
MG) Writing Language Lessons: For When Your Mom Dies was emotionally
draining --devastatingly so. Yet it was also cathartic and freeing. I emptied
myself completely into the writing of this book, and now the well is
beginning to fill again with lightness. The sadness associated with death and
loss has gently receded into memory.
DM) Is there a right and a wrong way to mourn?
MG) Everyone mourns differently. As I writer living alone at the time, I
had the luxury of allowing my grief to take me places I would have never
volunteered to go, places I wouldn't have had time for if I had been raising
children and running a house. It has served me well, that long period of
grief, because Language Lessons was in part born out of it.
I think most folks are afraid of how dark an experience grieving can be, of
how deep the sadness is. But it is ultimately an authentic healing which
greatly informs us on our path. To truncate the process only means it will
call you to it again and again. No loss will ever be as hard as the loss of
my mother. Period. Not just because she was my mother, but for all the
world she represents to me still. The mother principle, Gaia, contains
everything.
DM) In what other genres do you write?
MG) I think the idea of writing erotica, "a la Anais Nin", is refreshing to
me. It's so far away from where I have been travelling with words and
emotions. It would be such a pleasurable escape, and entertaining...
DM) How often do you write erotica?
MG) Depends on how much wine I've consumed. Generally, my writing is
serious, honest, provocative; but there is sometimes a temptation to write
very sexy, very sleazy erotic trash. Certainly I read it.
DM) Do you remember the first stories you wrote?
MG) Apparently I started writing stories in grammar school. I had a pen pal
in Australia and also wrote to my Congressman in the second grade. He wrote
back.
DM) What did you write to your Congressman about, at such a young age?
MG) I wrote to him about cruelty to animals and said it had to stop. I told
him that our pets need protection. We had a pet mouse as I recalled. Herman.
DM) Of all of your writings, which is your favorite?
MG) My favorite piece of my own work is Language Lessons For When Your Mom
Dies. Why? Because it is the most honest. I do have a favorite poem,
however, a slightly erotic piece entitled "Papaya", which won the Editors
Choice award in the James Joyce Quarterly over in Japan.
DM) Who have your biggest influences been in your writing?
MG) My influences (other than a good barolo and music) have been many.
However, the diarists particularly influenced my "writing as record keeping":
Virginia Woolf, Henry Miller, May Sarton, Rilke, Terry Tempest Williams, Maya
Angelou, Zora Neale Hurston, Paul Tillich (I liked the philosophers,
theosophers), Hemingway, Maugham, Carver, too name a varied few. And Van
Morrison!
DM) Do you like Van Morrison for his music or his lyrics?
MG) Van Morrison is the Ferlinghetti of song. I like both his lyrics and
his mournful, soul-drenched style. Of course, I also like the Dixie Chicks.
DM) Where is your career going from here?
MG) God only knows where my career is going now, but certainly I'd like to
get out from beneath the pots and pans. (I'm a trained chef.) I hope to
lecture and teach and write more hard stuff to read. By hard, I mean
thoughtful, provocative, questioning, raw.
DM) Are you still doing the celebrity cooking?
MG) Still cooking, yes. Mostly for high finance guys and Hollywood. Past
clients include Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore... lots of
others.
DM) Are you still pursuing that career too?
MG) I acquire new Hollywood clients all the time, and I often see past
clients as dinner guests. My relationships remain professional, yet warm.
It's always a pleasure to see them over the holidays, especially if they are
enjoying my food!
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