American Wedding

Something old. Nothing new. Lots that's borrowed. Eating poo?

What's old is about half the returning cast and the same tired plot, and there's nothing new that we haven't either seen before in the previous two films in the American Pie franchise, or the countless others like them, from which they borrow.

Following their high school graduation, pervert Jim Levinstein (Jason Biggs) and nympho Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) decide to tie the knot after dating for three years. It's anything but sweet, however, because this American Wedding is a disaster from the very beginning.

Jim plans to propose during a romantic dinner at a crowded restaurant, but Michelle gets the wrong idea and crawls under the table to get the...um...job done. Meanwhile Jim's Dad (Eugene Levy) is on his way because the engagement ring was accidentally left at home, and he is, of course, just in time to catch Jim with his pants around his ankles in a more embarrassing than funny moment. Every scene tries to outdo the previous, getting more ridiculous in an effort to achieve maximum gross-out potential.

A few of their old friends R.S.V.P. for the event. Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) and Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) are asked to be groomsmen, but Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott), while uninvited at first seems to crash not just the wedding, but the entire movie. He's annoying, overused and just plain unreal. Thank goodness people like this only exist in movies that are so unrealistic, cruel and rude--provoking no genuine feelings, except bad ones. The other main plot revolves around Stifler (big surprise), who is out to score with Michelle's little sister Cadence (January Jones). He tries to parade around being a "good guy," but eventually his true colors show. For some reason, the good little virgin turned horny teen is still attracted to him anyway--I guess because he somehow redeems himself along the way. It's too little, too late in my opinion.

There's more focus on Stifler than anything and anyone else. The wedding is merely an excuse to have him running around trying to plan a bachelor party and "boom boom with the bridesmaids." Ugh. He even starts a not-so-friendly competition with Finch for the affections of Cadence. The guy seems to get whatever he wants, since no one seems to have the guts to truly tell him off.

There's not too much else to say about this pathetic attempt at comedy. The rest of the original cast was smart to sit this one out. I guess they had enough of degrading themselves the first two times around. Biggs though onscreen plenty, barely seems present, while Hannigan recites her lines with the same cheery-chirp and clueless nerdy nature she's known for. I'd really like to see her do something more serious and show her true acting potential. Levy is almost always a delight to watch--I like him even here. It's safe to say he's the only thing I liked about this piece of crap...which unfortunately like Stiffler, a lot of people will probably eat up with a big smile on their face. I should have just sent my regrets to the bride and groom.

American Divorce, anyone?