The Rules of the Game

Women. More than one man has admitted to getting butterflies, sweaty palms, or a reduced self esteem because of them. Fortunately, after years of writing conversation topics on the back of our hands and rehearsing phone calls, we may have found a way to win the dating game once and for all.

Neil Strauss, the journalist, author, and professional pick-up artist, has spent years honing his talents of seduction and personal interaction. Strauss, perhaps better known by his seduction community alias "Style," first shared the tales of his introduction to the pick-up artist subculture in The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists. Those ready to join this community can finally end their romantic frustrations with the help of The Game's companion novel, The Rules of the Game.

The Rules of the Game is divided into two parts, the "Stylelife Challenge" and the "Style Diaries." The "Challenge" is about as straightforward as it gets: find a date in 30 days. After setting the objective, Strauss proceeds to provide the reader with a day-by-day series of missions to progress towards that goal. Some days are designed to improve social interaction skills, such as the mission that can be described succinctly as "make small talk." Other days, the mission is more introspective, instructing the reader to evaluate himself and his goals.

The next half, the "Style Diaries," describes several of Strauss's sexual (mis)adventures during his time as the pick-up artist, Style. They are, for the most part, cautionary tales, many of them dramatically cynical about the dating world. The stories serve to highlight the darker side of Style's escapades, each one building on a specific theme. While the "Diaries" provide some minor comic relief moments, such as when Style is forced to climb pantless up the balcony to his apartment or accidentally gets married to a woman he met several minutes beforehand, it's safe to say that some of them could leave the average reader feeling unsettled or at least more cautious about a life of lavish romance.

At the end of the day, The Rules of the Game is best described as a self-help book. It's no magical cure-all for the struggling lover any more than so many of the other books published on the subject. The Rules does focus on a broad range of topics though, and it provides a great set of guidelines for how to improve one's "game." Strauss goes to great lengths to ensure that no stone is unturned, addressing aspects of proper posture, physical appearance, "phone game," or conversation openers. Anyone looking for help on specific problems might find a good friend in The Rules.

Many readers of The Rules (especially female readers) may be turned off by the idea that the book lays out a series of steps intended to deceive and seduce women. This idea is, of course, one of the most controversial ones in the pick-up community, and many artists go to great lengths to clarify that deception is not the goal. Strauss explains it best in The Rules when he says that the most important end of the "Stylelife Challenge" is to not only learn to be yourself around anyone but to learn to be "your best self."

That phrase underscores the entire point of every daily mission and evaluation in "The Challenge." Strauss himself states clearly that there is no such thing as a pick-up line, and that his suggested routines and conversation-starters are great but they aren't what will determine romantic success. The key to creating a positive image lies in what Strauss refers to as "value demonstrations," stories and actions that show potential dates what kind of person you are and where your morals lie. These demonstrations come through personal stories and conversation and are intrinsic to the person showing them. The values and charm of an "attractive" man do not come from one-liners or even from the "rules" themselves. With that in mind, "The Challenge" is not to show a woman that you are attractive but that you have worth.

The Rules of the Game doesn't come with a money back guarantee that its readers will become the ultimate seducers of gorgeous women. Regardless, if readers take many of things Strauss writes to heart, they can garner a number of benefits not just in their dating lives but in their personal and business ones. The ability to speak with poise and presence, to project your values clearly, to improve your confidence in any scenario are topics that sociologists and psychiatrists have studied for years. The Rules isn't groundbreaking, but if you commit to the missions, you can certainly learn a thing or two about yourself.