Trapped in the Mirror

Trapped in the Mirror' is often mislabeled as a self-help book, but is really more of a scholarly exploration of the relationship between narcissists and their children, and the effect this relationship has on the children. It explains in depth the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how the disorder comes into being, often in language that would confuse a reader who does not have a decent understanding of psychology. She addresses issues common to children of narcissists, such as suppressed anger, stress, troubled relationships, lack of motivation, and distorted body image.

Elan Golomb does explain the process that a traumatized adult must go through in order to heal. However, those who hoped for a step-by-step program that would guide them out of their suffering will be disappointed with this book.

As a child of a narcissistic parent herself, Golomb is able to give her readers an intimate look into the twisted, loveless world of someone with narcissistic personality disorder, and how he treats his child as an extension of himself. Her tone is not for the casual reader: It is sober and at times depressing. Her own anger and pain at times seem to seep through the pages, but for someone who is seriously interested in the topic, the effect is to draw that reader in and forge a deep connection between author and audience. And the effect is also to hold the reader's undivided attention from beginning to end.

As a psychiatrist, Golomb is able to share the most troubling, destructive, and unusual patterns of adult children of narcissists, and then carefully dissect them until they are easy to understand in terms of the childhood trauma that these adults have sustained. It soon becomes clear how damaging a lack of unconditional love, support, and predictability is on a child.

To someone who prefers experimental evidence over case studies and anecdote, 'Trapped in the Mirror' would not be the best book to pick up. Golomb relies heavily on emotion, personal experience, and the experiences of her patients, and this approach would likely leave some readers skeptical. However, these stories are very well written, and even the biggest skeptic would have a hard time denying that she was moved by the accounts of neglect and abuse by narcissistic parents.

One of many excellent books on the topic of narcissistic personality disorder, this book is recommended to anyone with narcissism in their family, or anyone who is simply interested in the subject. Although Golomb's tone and method may be off-putting to readers who prefer a more scientific, objective approach, one must keep in mind that case studies are just as important as scientific experiments and data. This is the perfect book for someone who has a base knowledge of the disorder, and likes a good story.