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Cove Haven - Part 1
Written by: Dominick A. Miserandino
Photography by: Margherita Miserandino
Cove Haven is a world famous resort for lovers and honeymooners. In our review we investigate what is the story behind the romance.
Friday Night
Our original estimate for the trip's driving time was three hours from NYC at the most, what we didn't count on was unusually horrible traffic due to a few car accidents, massive fog and rain. Needless to say, the romantic getaway didn't begin until after a 6.5-hour drive. We took turns driving a few times until I took over when my wife Margherita started saying, "I can't see the road anymore..." I didn't have a strong desire for a deer to become one with the car and since I was a bit more used to driving on country roads I switched and handled the last leg of the drive.
Our first experience with the resort occurred when we were half an hour away. I must preface this by saying that when we stopped at the tollbooth to ask directions (as the fog knocked visibility down to 10 feet), the attendant said it was only a "little ways away". Everybody in Pennsylvania thinks things are only "A little ways away". After 40 minutes of back road driving, I started getting nervous so I called the 800 Caesars number for directions. Bobby, the operator, answered the phone and actually helped by talking us through the directions until we were on track. Therefore, it was just my sleeping wife, Bobbie and I on the cell phone for 10 minutes, and the last five miles. Without Bobby, I'd still be wandering the back roads of Pennsylvania in the fog.
Pulling up to Caesars to me is akin to coming up to a famous monument. Once you're within 3 miles there are signs saying, "Not much further"... "Almost there"... "Next Right to Cove Haven"... It doesn't leave much room for doubt.
We pulled up to the lobby and were greeted by Rosie at the front desk. At every turn, I felt like everybody was too happy for their own good... "Don't worry... What? You missed, dinner? Don't worry, we'll get you a dinner at the café... you're tired from driving, don't worry, we'll call a van to pick you up from right here."
So, after we checked in, we headed over to Morris and Obie's Cafe. I'm not sure who Morris and Obie are but I highly recommend their Cheeseburger Platter with a side of Onion Rings. It was one of the best burgers I have had in a while and Margherita loved the beer battered onion rings.
After pigging out, we crossed the street and brought our bags to our room, which was one of the "Cove Harbour" rooms. All of the rooms for the Cove Harbour section are attached to each other and the front of them give you the illusion of being rather plain and simple. The windows for every room are covered by curtains so you can't even get a "sneak-preview" of what the rooms might look like. You certainly are taken aback when you first walk in. When you open the door, you see one of the biggest rooms we've ever entered in our lives. The room is a two level suite. The first level you enter has a fireplace and living room section. You then go down a few steps to find a circular king-sized bed with a starlight ceiling. There is also a television, a Bose radio/CD system and a mini-refrigerator. The final area is the bathroom. The bathroom has a red heart-shaped Jacuzzi for two, a shower for two, sinks for two and the obvious toilet... but only one.
I was happy about the two sinks as I had my own sink but I was a bit concerned that the toilet was in the same room as the Jacuzzi. I explained to Margherita that it was morally wrong to be in the Jacuzzi while I was using the bathroom and kicked her out and locked the door twice for effect. There are some things that are just completely immoral and sharing the bathroom is one of them.
I do have to explain at this point that the whole nature of Cove Haven gives you a sense of intimacy. Signs proclaim that you should spend quality time together and intimate time. If you're not, "intimate" with your partner beforehand this can push you over the edge to pregnancy and beyond in a matter of hours. It's the world's largest erogenous zone, where you feel inclined to have sex with you partner whether you're feeling romantic or not.
Well, after we settled into the rooms, we decided to head over to the nightclub and hear the band. It was really cold, but the nightclub was only across the street, a 5-minute walk.
That particular night was a live show of a cover band who did great imitations of everybody from Elvis to Stevie Wonder. Actually, the great imitations were done by the background singer while the lead singer was getting a bit harassed by some members of the audience. They seemed to feel that the background singer was much better, but all the joking seemed to be done in jest... or at least I hope.
After the show, we went back to our room, lit the fireplace... and uh, went to sleep.
Read part 2 | Read part 3
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