|
| |
Niagara Falls - Part 3
Traveling with your wife and mother-in-law
Written by: Dominick A. Miserandino
Photography by: Margherita Miserandino
A young, newlywedded man survives the ultimate challenge of a lifetime during a shopping excursion in Niagara Falls with his power-shopping wife and La Madre, his dear, sweet, Italian mother-in-law.
Day 3
I had awoken from a strange dream in a which a small Italian woman was rummaging through my clothes looking for money. She wasn't looking for any money, but La Madre got up early and started packing everything for us; and in my delirious stupor, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I don't like to wake up any earlier than the average "first bird who gets the worm." In fact, I'm happy to wait until the semi-comatose bird simply orders a worm for lunch.
Instead of my previous plans of sleeping, I had to get up and change in fear of La Madre touching any of my used clothes. I'm a private man and even request my wife to wear a blindfold if she does the laundry.
I jumped in the shower, then supervised the packing while trying not to act neurotic about the matter, and finally we decided to hit the road.
We drove down river to go to the Spanish Aero bridge, but unfortunately due to high winds, it was closed. We were going to persuade La Madre to get in a crate and get pulled across the river via a thin wire, but God seemed to intervene. Even Margherita liked the joy of surprising La Madre.
So we started heading back south towards the airport, stopping in various shops to buy more "Syrup-a." Just like baseball cards, La Madre had the entire collection of Maple Syrup, and her pancakes were destined for stardom.
Eventually when we exhausted the supply of syrup, we left town and headed south on the Canadian side to go towards Fort Erie.
Why?
"To do more shopping," Margherita just chanted.
They have a duty-free shop where you can trade in your receipts and get credit from the tax refund on items purchased, and then apply it towards tax-free purchases. At this point I was tired, and even La Madre was tired. We walked around together while Margherita shopped, the both of us bonding over Margherita's seemingly ceaseless energy towards shopping.
After Fort Erie, we crossed the Peace Bridge and passed through U.S. security at the border. A nod and a wink, and we were across the border. I felt rather safe knowing his amazingly powerful glance was all that was needed to check the car for terrorists, arms, and drugs rather quickly. No need for documents, just an x-ray glance.
Once we entered Buffalo, we headed south and went to Lackawanna to see Our Lady of Victory Basilica. I mis-translated it and called it "Our Lady of Winning [Things]" which didn't really make much sense to her. She was also perplexed because I kept saying we're not in "boof-a-looo" but in "Buffalo"; and not really "Buffalo" but really in Lackawanna.
"I no wanna nothing," would be her response to hearing Lackawanna.
Oh, the fun of in-law life.
This was what La Madre considered one of the top three things about the weekend, The Falls, the Skylon, and then this.
"Beautiful, bella" she would say interchangeably. She was so ecstatic she went to the gift shop and bought a round of saint medals for the group.
After church, where else to go but to return the car and stop at Charlie the Butcher's for Beef on Weck. Since beef on weck is just roast beef on a Kummelweck roll and doesn't have cheese, I don't doubt her ability to reproduce it.
Regrettably, Charlie wasn't there; however the beef on weck was.
I loved it, Margherita stuffed her face, and La Madre said she could make this at home. Then again, she always claims she can do that. Then again, I must admit nine times out of ten, she can. The tenth time when she can't is when she insists on using Mozzarella cheese over cheddar "because cheddar no is real cheese."
Looking back the vacation wasn't half bad. La Madre didn't bite or yell at me for anything as mother-in-laws can be prone to do. She didn't make a snide remark that I did understand, but I can't vouch for the fact that she might have said something in Sicilian under her breath. Margherita got a little grouchy by the last day, but she says it's not her fault as it was just her time to be moody. After all, "Can I be expected to be in a good mood for three days in a row?" Next time, I might leave Margherita home and just deal with the smile and nods of La Madre.
Read part 1 | Read part 2
|
|
|
|
|
|
