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Waldo County, Maine - Part 3
Written by: Dominick A. Miserandino
Photography by: Margherita Miserandino
Weird Waldo County
Yes, it’s weird. Not axe murder type of weird, but there are aspects that left me thinking of the corny jokes that my Uncle Bud would say involving one legged chickens.
The two biggest things that come to mind are Fort Knox. No, not the Fort Knox with the gold, but the Sears Catalog version. Okay, picture this, you’re in Maine in the 1800s, and you’re getting a little nervous. During the Revolution and the War of 1812, there was a real concern that England would attack from Canada. And Maine, being the first stop, got antsy.
Now we have some politics at play; the War of 1812 is over, but it’s the Spanish- American War, and Maine is nervous again. All they think about here is war, although they didn’t really think about the fact that the Spanish would probably invade from the south and perhaps just try taking Texas.
How did the government settle the locals’ fears? They built a fort, and not just any fort but a big ass fort. This is the kind of fort that easily could have functioned quite well into the First World War if not beyond. Now you have a fort that is probably more perfectly preserved than any other, as it never really had the chance to get damaged. Not even one soldier was there to scratch his name in the wall.
What else makes Waldo County weird? The Bryant's Stove Museum, which really defies description. By definition that makes it hard to write about. The best description I can give is to understand that Joe and Bea are two lovely people who love making people happy. For his "day job" Joe repairs stoves, and people come from all over to buy them. They’re not the modern variety, but big cast iron monsters.
As for the making people happy part, maybe it was all those long Maine winters, but Joe got bored and started fiddling around. Now he has an entire museum made up of his "toys." His children’s Barbie dolls weren’t all that active, until Joe sliced off their legs, hooked them up to a hydraulic system and got them to do the hula dance. Then, in the other room, he has player piano on top of player piano, each playing its own vintage song.
In a way, his criteria seems to be, if it has gears and parts and looks interesting, he’ll rip it apart. He’s not interested in electronics, but all of his toys must have moving parts that he can move around and adjust.
The end result is the same for the proprietor as it is for the guests. When you walk in, Joe rides up in his wheelchair and then jumps out in glee as soon as he sees your jaws hit the ground.
Lastly, Waldo County is weird because of a stick—a stupid and frustrating stick that has a rather good story to it. Basically, one of the innkeepers was kind enough to give us a stick. It’s about a foot long and has notches on both sides in odd and seemingly random locations. We took the stick appreciatively and polled everybody we knew about the stick. The results were: backscratcher, pot puller outer, coat hanger, and rubber band shooter. This is not to mention a few results that were completely odd or dirty or both. The only other distinguishing mark was a stamp which said, "Maine Prison System." Was this some sign that we were to be incarcerated?
We soon found out that the stick was used to hold open a window, and each notch determined how open the window would be. That said, where’s the really good story besides the stupid guesses? It turns out that, as a rehabilitation program, the authorities allow the prisoners to work at wood carving and sell the products at really good prices. There is even a store on the way home where one can buy them.
As it turned out, the earlier mishap of our flight being cancelled actually benefited us, as Maine has really affordable woodwork. So we bought a toy chest for our godson. Also, Margherita got to shop on the way in Freeport. So, everybody was happy.
Overall, Waldo County is in the middle of nowhere, and that’s precisely why it’s good. Yes, there is the stereotypical phrase of "Where’s Waldo?" But the point is that this area is one of the last remnants of the real New England.
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Joe at the Bryant's Stove Museum | |
So, go to Waldo, stay in a B&B, eat some lobster, and see an unused fort.
Part 1- Intro and Lobsters
Part 2- B&Bs and Belfast
Part 3- Weird Waldo County
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