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It's that time of year again...football is back! Synonymous with the NFL these days has been fantasy football, and it's the latter the couch version of the game that serves as the basis for the hilarious show, The League, now entering its fifth season.
When we last saw our lovable band of league members, Andre had proposed to Trixie (guest star Jayma Mays, Glee), the never present Ted won the Shiva, and Ruxin was unfortunate to come home with the Sacko.
It's almost wedding weekend, and Andre has decided to use to league's message board to send out his wedding e-vite. He bases the video on Top Gun, and it's as awful as every other idea he's come up with throughout the show's run. All Pete, Kevin, Ruxin, Taco and Jenny can think of while watching this are pun-inspired movie titles incorporating Trixie's allergic reaction to semen.
The highlights: "Risky Jizzness" "Thighs Wide Shut" "A Few Good Semen...You Can't Handle My C*m"
Pete, who had dubbed himself the Sacko commissioner, corners Ruxin as he's walking out of work. He tells Ruxin that he has to wear a giant bull outfit with giant fake testicles, and fulfill his Sacko duties, or else he's out of the league. Ruxin proceeds to quit the league.
Andre tells the guys that his wedding is going to be in Los Angeles. At the same time, the group gets a message from Ted (guest star Adam Brody, The OC), saying that this season's draft will be held in LA as well. "Destination draft!" Andre isn't all too pleased his wedding is already being overshadowed.
Andre lets slip that he wants to have the draft the same weekend as the wedding, but Trixie immediately says no. The gang decides that they're going to do it during the bachelor party, a secret draft. Andre is against it, but everyone else tells him that Shiva champion trumps bride, always.
Andre can't decide who to choose as his best man, so he decides to do a Bachelor-style competition to determine who it's going to be. He goes to Pete, Kevin, Ruxin and Taco, but they all tell Andre to choose someone else. Jenny, realizing that she won't be able to draft if she's not at the bachelor party, asks Andre if she can be his best man.
The gang arrives out in LA, and Ted meets them at the hotel. Ted brings out a round of drinks for everyone, and they all get to talking, asking Ted how he lost so much weight. Ted has AIDS. "Full blownsies?" asks Ruxin. Yes, Ruxin, full blownsies. Just as they're all about to head inside, Rafi shows up in Pete's old Shiva-mobile. As ridiculous as ever, Rafi gives Ted that last medical advice he'll ever need for his AIDS: "Baby aspirin, two if you're going to fly. You'll be rid of that s**t in weeks."
Draft time. Ted, Pete, Kevin, Taco and Jenny gather around the board with Ruxin sitting idly by, still refusing to be a part of the league. As Ruxin walks away, JJ Watt, defensive end for the Houston Texans, arrives to be the master of ceremonies. Ruxin watches from afar, and Rafi starts going into details of his "domination" league. JJ decides he'll draft for Ruxin's team.
Before the draft begins, Pete unveils the new and improved Sacko trophy. It's been renamed "The Ruxin," with a bust of Ruxin underneath the bull's sack. JJ Watt begins the draft by selecting Houston's defense with the number one overall pick, and then he calls up Blair Walsh, the Viking's kicker, to draft himself on Ruxin's team as well. Ruxin caves, saying he'll fulfill his Sacko punishments and rejoin the league. He tells Rafi that he's out of the domination league, which prompts Rafi to kidnap Ruxin after he leaves the bathroom.
Ruxin's sack is lifted to reveal Rafi, Dirty Randy (Seth Rogen), Russell (Rob Huebel) and others. They all claim the domination league is binding, that it's just like "Hotel California," you can check it but you can never leave. Everyone pulls out a paintball gun to chase Ruxin with, except Dirty Randy, who pulls out a trident made of giant blue dildos. Ruxin runs away, in fear of his life, not actually knowing if Rafi is going to kill him or not.
Image Courtesy of FXX