Dexter: intensive, defensive, prepensive. I don’t want to pretend that I am a regular watcher of dramas, especially of the dark, criminal variety. The last drama, which I watched religiously was Desperate Housewives, and that probably isn’t even considered a blue blood, true blood drama.

True, I had my fling with Dexter a few years ago when it was instant watch on Netflix. I gorged myself on tight, intriguing stories of the “Ice Truck Killer” and Sergeant James Doakes (fearsome and formidable, portrayed well by actor Erik King) taking the fall for Dexter’s murders, deemed the “Bay Harbor Butcher.” As I stepped away from similar dramas (I’m still waiting for the right time to revisit Breaking Bad), I lost faith in Dexter.

But, just like the almost unavoidable rekindling with an old significant other, I revisited Dexter last year. I caught up with the series, and like that almost unavoidable rekindling with an old flame—it just wasn’t the same. See each other a couple times, maybe it goes well, but in the end, it’s disappointment. Dexter drew me back in with the “Trinity Killer” (John Lithgow is a treasure), but any hope for something serious was dashed by Season 6’s “Doomsday Killer.” Needless to say, it’s been a rocky relationship.

With that being said, I feel some sort of obligation to the series, and so I tuned into the season premiere last night. The eighth and final season of Dexter aired its first episode to generally happy fans and contented critics. Indeed, last night’s episode was a nice change of pace for the show, which has dragged a bit in quality the past few seasons.

Dexter has always been dark—it’s in the very fabric of the show, who’s protagonist is a serial killer, with whom, surprisingly or not, you find yourself sympathizing. But Season 8 seems darker, at least from the first episode. Camera angles are seemingly a bit more off-kilter and lighting in general seems to be lacking (with shadowy indoor scenes and overcast outdoor shots), making the show, both literally and figuratively, dark.

The episode, ironically entitled “A Beautiful Day,” takes place six months after the Season 7 finale, meaning it’s six months after Deb shot LaGuerta and six months after Deb discovered who Dexter really is. It’s clearly taking a toll. Though it’s revealed Deb left the force to work undercover for a private detective, she seems to enjoy the life she’s leading. The life including: marijuana, cocaine and various prescription drugs. Deb’s also been sleeping with the man she’s supposed to bring in, Andrew Briggs (played by Rhys Coiro), a drug dealer and thief.

When Dexter, who Deb has been ignoring/avoiding/hating, discovers Briggs has gotten himself on the wrong side of the mob, he attempts to save her. Up until this point in the episode, it appears Dexter has been in a better way than his wayward stepsister (claiming that LaGuerta’s death “helped solve all [his] problems”). The confrontation between Dexter and Deb over Briggs is Dexter’s breaking point. In the struggle, Dexter winds up stabbing Briggs, killing him.

Before Deb calls in the murder (and covers for Dexter, yet again), she makes Dexter realize the state he’s in. In an expletive-filled outpouring, Deb tells Dexter that she used to think she always needed him, but it was the other way around—Deb’s just in a “sh*tty f*cking Hell”; Dexter is lost.

The last minutes of the episode consist of Dexter’s internal monologue and his outward brewing: he is lost, up against a wall yet again (in true Dexter fashion). The show ends with one of the season’s recurring characters, Dr. Evelyn Vogel (played by Charlotte Rampling) approaching Dexter. A neuro-psychiatrist, specializing in child psychopaths and deemed the “Psychopath Whisperer,” Vogel gives him a file containing his childhood drawings—his stick figure-self murdering other stick figures. Trying to turn the tables, Dexter forces Vogel against a wall before the big reveal: “I don’t fit Harry’s code.” Dexter can’t murder Vogel.

This season’s serial killer arc was merely mentioned in the episode: a killer who shoots his or her victim, removes part of the cranium and takes out the empathy-controlling part of the brain before replacing the skull. As Dexter and Dr. Vogel both point out, a psychopath has no empathy. As in seasons past, it appears Dexter will identify with the season’s killer, but this time—at least for the time being—there is no Deb. Season 8 is making the old new again with an absorbing premiere episode. Though it will be interesting to see how Dexter and Deb reconcile (if that’s even part of the plan), I think it will be Dr. Vogel and Dexter’s relationship, which keeps me tuning in.