Twitter isn’t just about reading about your friend’s weekly rendezvous to Taco Bell or overly-retweeted inspirational quotes. Within the depths of links to Instagram pictures and tweets about your aunt’s existential crisis, there lies the comedians of Twitter who produce hilarious and off-the-wall jokes that can get your Twitter timeline from lackin’ to crackin’. You can never fear a humorless day if you delve into the underground comedy world of Twitter. Well, it’s not that underground.
Here’s our countdown of the top 10 comedians to follow on Twitter. What’s blue, black, white and 140 characters? A tweet from a comedian on Twitter. Okay, now that we’ve got that terrible joke out of the way, we can let the actual jokesters get down to typing out hilarious one-liners that get thousands of retweets and favorites.
10. Jim Gaffigan
I hate how babies act like they don't care if it's my birthday.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) July 7, 2013
Famed comedian who has performed in several stand-up specials, Jim Gaffigan, brings his self-loathing to Twitter with a multitude of tweets about being a glutton, including eating cheeseburgers while working out.
Edward Snowden, if you're reading this tweet, turn yourself in. NSA, if you're reading it, hi!!!!
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) June 25, 2013
Much like his show, Stephen Colbert offers political and current events commentary, but of course, with biting sarcasm and irony.
8. Chris Pratt
Ive always said theres no room for vanity in comedy. I typed this tweet with my wiener, which is super tan. Shit. There I go again.
— chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) July 8, 2013
Parks and Recreation funnyman, Chris Pratt, gives followers an insight into his life. Like the time he tweeted that he slept like a baby and woke up with a huge s*** in his pants.
7. Steve Martin
Getting lots of admiring looks in my new denim short-shirts and halter top.
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) June 23, 2013
Let’s be honest, Steve Martin has been around for a long time, and guess what, he’s still funny. His Twitter is exact proof of that.
sample lady at the grocery store told me I'd had enough eggrolls so I grabbed her wrist & hissed that I would ruin her life
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) July 8, 2013
With a Twitter bio that reads, “the Garbage Pail Kids version of Zooey Deschanel,” I don’t think there’s much else that can be said, except follow her if you want to drown in her self-hatred. We say that in a positive way.
5. Megan Amram
Congrats to Oprah! Just heard she made the cover of next month's O Magazine!!
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) June 18, 2013
There’s no denying that Megan Amram is a master of wordplay and puns. Follow her to see her twist words and phrases into a more disgusting, yet hilarious way.
A lot of people don't close doors behind them which I think is so weird BITCH DID U GROW UP IN A CAVE HOLMES TALK TO ME BUD
— Chelsea Peretti (@ChelseaVPeretti) July 7, 2013
With a knack for commenting on human nature, Chelsea Peretti takes everything you were thinking and says it for you. With lots and lots of caps lock.
just made a google alert for pugs wearing things so i guess goodbye forever maybe
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) July 8, 2013
Lauren Ashley Bishop isn’t afraid to hold back her humor on Twitter, and she can get a little raunchy. Which is why she is one of the funniest ladies to follow on Twitter.
2. Mike Scully
Writing a multi-cam show about four friends named Cam.
— Mike Scully (@scullymike) June 29, 2013
Not only is Mike Scully just funny on Twitter, but he has also written for The Simpsons, Parks and Recreation and Everybody Loves Raymond. Scully takes digs at pop culture with blatantly honest one-liners, full of wit and irony.
1. Rob Delaney
.@Charmin my daughter was killed by a bear yesterday when she tried to offer it toilet paper you son of a bitch
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) August 3, 2012
You never know what you’re going to get with Rob Delaney, which is why you should immediately follow him. His tweets are so funny that they even landed a stand-up special that is now streaming on Netflix. Comedy gold happens when he replies to companies like Walmart, Wendys and Best Buy.