These aren’t just any ugly, awkward, ought-to-be-retired, denim coveralls from the 1990s. These are Dupont Large Yellow Tychem Qc Chemical Protection Coveralls from Amazon, a name I had to look at six times before I got it right. The product description explains the name, by the way: “Tychem QC - a DuPont Tyvek protective fabric coated with 1.25 mils of polyethylene. It is reliable protection for minor chemical spills and where there is potential for mist or light splash. Applications: Used extensively in the petroleum, pulp and paper, food and chemical processing and pharmaceutical industries.”
So, heavy-duty protection suit. Fairly straightforward, right?
Wrong.
Sometimes Amazon reviewers are clearly going out of the way to be funny. Sometimes it’s unintentional. And sometimes—like with these reviews—it’s unclear.
I didn’t think I was going to get much humor out of unfortunate coveralls. The reviews were running on the typical-to-boring side, with complaints of cheap zippers and awkward sizing. Then I hit this.
Mr. Frost, in a review titled “Great for Bug Out Bag,” wrote I'm happy to say I haven't had an opportunity to use this. I have a NBC bugout bag with a radiation detector, charcoal lined camo suit, Israeli gas masks with five filters, gloves, over boots, Tyvek suits and now Tychem coveralls. I used to carry it in my truck, so if the SHTF while I was at work or out of town, I'd have it covered. Thus far all it has provided is peace of mind, which is priceless! I don't particularly like the Big Bird color (an orange gas mask would look cute with it), But some spray paint would fix that easily.
NBC stands for “nuclear, biological, chemical” in the military, by the way (and I’m assuming you can figure out SHTF). Are Bug Out Bags a common thing now? Should I be worried? Do paranoid schizophrenics usually care that much about looking fashionable in their panic button attire?
Then, out of the blue, came Dumpster Diva’s review, “Perfect for those ‘Fully Loaded’ Diaper Changes.”
I purchased these Protection Coveralls two weeks after my first child was born. They have been fantastic. I purchased the larger size, based on other reviews, and the suit fits both me and my partner. Now, changing diapers no longer causes an argument - we simply employ the "rock/paper/scissors" method of selection and neither of us have suffered from the noxious fumes that most parents complain so much about.
I would recommend this as a great baby shower gift. Washable too!
I’m pretty sure that was serious. I think. Right? I mean, I was going along thinking it was actually kind of a great idea, until I hit “baby shower gift.” Doesn’t that usually mean cradles and teddy bears?
Oh and by the way, just to wrap things up, Ya boi simply commented “I'm Yellow Gumby Dammit!” on another review. I have no idea what’s going on in the world of Amazon anymore.
Photo Courtesy of Amazon