Intro:
Craig Ferguson begins the show by talking to two Irish women from the audience. The introduce themselves as Marie and Katrina from Sligo, Ireland. The women mention that they are on a J-1 visa, and Ferguson says, "Oh, I know what you are doing here. That's how I got here." The women describe life in Los Angeles as stressful, especially the traffic. They also mention that Americans tease them a lot about leprechauns and as them to say "potato" in an Irish accent.

Monologue:
"It's a great day for America, everybody," Ferguson exclaims. Because it is Jamaican Independence Day, the monologue centers on Jamaica.

"Jamaica isn't that far from Florida, so if you go to Jamaica on a quiet night, you can hear old people in Boca Raton, laughing at CBS sitcoms," Ferguson says.

Ferguson mentions that the British owned Jamaica until 1962. In return for Jamaica being granted independence, Ferguson jokes that Jamaica was required to provide Paul McCartney weed.

Tweets and Emails:
Ferguson's first message is from a viewer in Leipzig, Germany named Hans. The question is whether Ferguson has ever been to Leipzig, and the host says that he has never been. Craig and his robot side-kick begin speaking in a German accent and suggest that they take a trip to Leipzig together.

First Guest:
Diane Kruger stops by the show to promote her show on FX, The Bridge. Kruger says that she is from Hanover, Germany. Ferguson regales her with a story about a time when he went to Hanover.

Kruger talks about her character, who has Aspberger's syndrome, and how she has to go against her instincts to portray someone who can't read social cues. Kruger mentions that she has a cat that hates her. She says that the cat will jump into her bed at night, push her away, and cuddle Josh.

After a commercial break, Kruger says that she is a touchy person but that stereotypically, Germans are not. Ferguson says that when he went to Germany and met Bavarians, they were not cold and reserved at all.

Second Guest:
The next guest is Tony Hale, who has been nominated for an Emmy for his role on Veep. Ferguson asks if Hale works out. Hale says that he doesn't exercise that much. Hale says that he lived in Germany for five years as a child. Ferguson asks him if he can do a German accent, and Hale makes an attempt.

Hale says he spent two years in Berlin and three years in Heidelberg. He was even there before the Berlin Wall came down. Hale says that one time, after Oktoberfest, his dog ate all the remaining sausages and drank all the beer remaining from the festivities. The dog even had to have his stomach pumped.

Photo courtesy of CBS.